


Pleasure Principle

by Jensine70



Category: Veronica Mars (TV), Veronica Mars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-15 02:02:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 24,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14149524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jensine70/pseuds/Jensine70
Summary: Set pre-Season1. Sophomore year. After Lilly's murder. Before Veronica gets tough. Rumors are circulating, people are harassing her, former friends have deserted her. On a particularly bad day, Weevil offers assistance and Veronica accepts. This leads to friendly conversation and comfort, but he never expected to fall in love. Weevil POV





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It occurred to me on a recent rewatch that – even with all the flashbacks – we don't really get to see much of what happens between Shelly Pomroy's party and the morning Veronica cut Wallace down from the flag pole. We don't really see the progression from victim to survivor.
> 
> I started wondering what that time period might look like ... and this is where my wondering led me.
> 
> To fit my purposes in this fic, making some adjustments to the chronology … I'm defining the pre-series timeline (Sophomore Year 2003-2004) this way:
> 
> *early-August 2003 – Logan and Lilly broke up; Lilly got together with Weevil
> 
> *early-September 2003 – Lilly went back to Logan
> 
> *mid-September – Homecoming
> 
> *late September – Duncan broke up with Veronica; Lilly broke up with Logan (after he kissed Yolanda)
> 
> *3 October 2003 – Lilly murdered
> 
> *early November thru mid-December 2003 – Veronica went to counseling
> 
> *late November 2003 – Keith fired
> 
> *6 December 2003 – Shelly Pomroy's party
> 
> *mid-December 2003 – Lianne received the photos of Veronica
> 
> *just before Christmas 2003 – Lianne left town
> 
> *Weevil hasn't gotten the Lilly/heart tattoo yet
> 
> *Veronica hasn't become hardened yet
> 
> [The early part of my timeline is guesswork. The latter part is sped up. In canon: Keith was fired a month before Lianne left, but the earliest Lianne could have left was February, because one of the surveillance photos Lianne received of Veronica was taken on 4 Feb 2004, when Veronica was going to counseling sessions.]
> 
> This fic begins in January 2004.

_Weevil POV_

I tried to enjoy the holidays, but after last year, I didn't know if I wanted to see what 2004 had in store for me.

The fall of 2003 was particularly bad. Lilly had gone running back to Logan and then acted like she didn't know me. But she did know me. And I had known her – in the biblical sense. Thing is ... hardly anybody knew about it.

It was hard enough to deal with not being with her. Hard enough to see her with him. But that was nothing compared to hearing that she'd been murdered.

I told her I'd always be there watching out for her, that I'd be there if she ever needed me. I'm not sure how I could've known that she'd be in danger in her own back yard, but I felt like I failed her.

Not long after Lilly's death, I noticed that the 09ers had pushed her best friend out of their circle. I wasn't sure what all that was about, but it seemed to get worse in December. And then the rumors about Veronica started. Not like I socialize with those people, but word travels fast even through the working-class folks at school. I filed the info away and moved on.

Usually, I love Christmas. The food and fun times with family. But this year, I felt like I was faking my way through all the traditions I normally enjoy. If I let it show, my grandma would be worried and the kids in my family would notice.

At least with school starting again, I'd have something to keep me busy. Not that it would keep my mind off it, but if I had stuff to do, maybe nobody would notice how I was feeling.

First day back at school, I was in the parking lot when Veronica pulled in. I recognized the car, but almost didn't recognize her. Her clothes and her hair were different. But it was her.

**~*~*~**

A couple weeks later, I saw some 09ers near her car after school. I told my boys to take off, that I'd catch up with them later. And I waited for her to walk to her car.

I watched as she looked at her tires and then her windshield. She opened the trunk and started to get out a jack and lug wrench. Most of the parking lot had cleared out and nobody made a move to help her.

Not sure why I felt the need to help. I'd spent plenty of time with her dad and her best friend … and knew a lot about her, but truthfully, I barely knew her. Didn't matter. I started my bike and pulled up next to her car.

"Looks like you could use some assistance." She watched me as I looked at her tires. "How many spares you got?" All four tires had been slashed.

"One."

"What do you plan to do about the other three?"

"I hadn't gotten that far."

I pulled out my phone and called Angel. Asked him to send a flatbed tow truck to get her car.

She asked, "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you helping me?"

"Because nobody else did."

"Yeah, not likely. Take a look at the windshield."

Someone had written LEAVE BITCH in white letters.

"What'd you do to piss off your old 09er buddies?"

"What makes you jump to that conclusion?"

"Well, you don't seem to hang out with 'em anymore. That and I saw a couple of 'em near your car before you got out here."

"So you know who did this?"

I nodded. "I'll take care of it."

"What does that mean?"

"I'll put new tires on. And tomorrow I'll make sure those fools know they don't wanna do anything like this again."

"And again I ask ... why?"

"That's a long answer."

"We seem to have some time right now. And why exactly would you notice who I'm hanging around?"

"I keep up with changes in the Sheriff's Department. Other news makes its way to me too. Your life's been eventful lately – well, not yours exactly, but your dad, your mom, … your best friend. And it seems that you're being shunned by your former tribe."

"That's not news to me. Just don't understand why you'd care. Honestly, it's a bit weird that we're standing here talking."

Not sure how to reply to that, so I didn't. The tow truck arrived after a few minutes of silence. I was trying to figure out how to explain something I didn't quite understand myself – that I felt compelled to help her.

After her car was on the flatbed, I offered her my helmet, as I said, "Unless you'd rather go in the cab of the truck."

Her eyes lit up as she smiled and put on the helmet.

**~*~**

When we got there, Angel asked what he could do for me – in Spanish, because he didn't like when I brought people he didn't know. I explained – also in Spanish – why I was there and that I'd work off the cost of the tow and the tires. He nodded. Then, I asked if I could use the private garage. He raised an eyebrow and then shot a glance at Veronica. He told me it was empty right now and reminded me not to let her look around too much.

The tow truck moved her car back to the private garage. I closed the large door after her car was inside.

At first, she sat quietly watching me work.

I was focused on her car as I began, "I'm not sure how comfortable you are talking about it, but I'm curious. Lilly. You were her best friend. Your dad was the sheriff. Wonderin' how much you know …"

"About what exactly? The investigation?"

"Well, yeah. But actually … um, I'm guessing she didn't tell you."

"Tell me what?"

I took a deep breath while I decided if I should tell her. "When Lilly and Logan were broken up, she and I were together." I turned to look at her stunned face. "I had written her some letters. I never would've hurt her, but obviously, I was a suspect. Your dad questioned me, searched my house, took a DNA sample."

"You can't be serious!"

"Yeah, I am, but you can check with your dad if you don't believe me."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"The thing is … nobody really knows. I mean, she didn't even tell her best friend ... right? Other than your dad and a few other people, including Miss James – nobody knows. Which is fine, except … I could use someone to talk to. I thought maybe you could too."

I turned back to her car and gave her time to think about what I'd just said.

Her voice was low, but it still startled me. "How long …? How close were you?"

I continued working as I answered her. "It was really only a few weeks. She and Logan had just broken up. And Lilly swore to me that she'd never go back to him. But then one day, that punk snaps his fingers. And all of a sudden, it's like we don't even know each other anymore." I stopped what I was doing to look at her as I said, "She was someone I could've loved, you know? And she felt it too. I know she did."

The look in her eyes changed as she said, "The day she died, she told me she had a secret – 'a good one' – but she didn't tell me what it was. I wonder if she was talking about you."

"Could be. Hard to tell with her."

"Yeah. Guess we'll never know for sure."

I waited to see if she would continue talking. When she didn't, I asked, "You mind me askin' what happened in December?" When she didn't reply, I looked at her. She looked scared and nervous. "I know your dad lost his job just before that and I heard your mom left around Christmas, but your old friends started treating you really bad in December. And that's when …"

"When the rumors started?"

"Yeah. And then you came back after break with a new look. I'm just sayin' … somethin' happened. If you'd like to talk about it …"

I was almost finished with her car as she began to talk.

"Not sure that I'd  _like_  to talk about it, but I probably  _need_ to talk about it with someone." She leaned over with her face in her hands, resting her elbows on her knees. "See … I'd like to say that the rumors are completely false. But there's a night I can't remember at all. I was at a party at the house of a now former friend. I only remember having one drink – actually, half a drink. The next morning, I woke up in the bed of one of her guest rooms. And found my underwear on the floor."

While she thought about what she wanted to tell me next, I washed my hands. As she started up again, I walked over and sat beside her.

"I went to report it. I'm not sure which would be worse – if Dad had still been Sheriff when I went to report being raped or the way it really happened … dealing with Lamb … laughing me out of his office." She brushed non-existent lint off her sleeve. "A couple weeks later Mom was gone. It wasn't a very merry Christmas. Dad tried to do all the normal things, but nothing is normal anymore." Playing with her hair, she said, "I don't know. I guess I just needed a change. I certainly don't feel like the same person I was when the school year started. I got tired of seeing her in the mirror."

Reaching out, I brushed her hair away from her eyes. "For the record, I like the new look." Neither of us said anything for a couple minutes. "If I could make a suggestion … here's what you do: You get tough. You get even." Her sad laughter told me she thought that idea was ridiculous. "And when you don't have the strength to do that, you can lean on me." I could see that she was about to start crying. "Hold that thought for just a second."

I went over to the door to slide the bolt across, just to be sure that we wouldn't be disturbed. She looked nervous as I walked back over to the couch.

"Just figured if we're both gonna start bawlin', I didn't want anyone walking in." I took her hand and said, "I'm so sorry. I mean, I know that it doesn't change anything or make it better, but I'm sorry."

She collapsed on my shoulder and I wrapped my arms around her. I'm not sure who cried harder. We sat there for a long time holding each other. I kissed her forehead and she looked up at me like she expected me to try something.

"Well, Miss Mars, you probably need to be getting home."

"And you probably have more important things to do."

"This may be one of the most important things I've done in a while."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I don't think I realized until today how much we needed each other. I'm glad that you accepted my help so we could talk."

She smiled. "Me, too."

While I put away the tools I had used, she cleaned up the mascara that had run down her face. I opened the door so she could leave. But before she got in the car, I gave her my cellphone number.

"If you ever need anything. Car repairs, shoulder to cry on, whatever. If it's an actual emergency, text me 911 and where you are. Otherwise, if I'm busy, I'll have to get back to you. But I will … always get back to you."

She looked at the paper I handed her and then back up at me. She thanked me and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

**~*~*~**

The next morning, I waited in the parking lot for the 09er vandals to show. I watched as they watched Veronica drive onto the lot. I had sent my boys inside, because I didn't want whatever this was to escalate beyond me dealing with the two of them. This was not PCH business. This was just something I'd put in my day planner under goals.

The pair approached Veronica's car and examined her new tires and clean windshield. She hadn't gotten out yet. I walked over and unceremoniously grabbed them both by the back of the neck, knocking their heads together Three Stooges style.

"Take a good look at her new tires, fellas. Because  _you_  are going to make sure they stay that way. After I watched you slash the old ones, I spent part of last evening putting them on. These better last much longer than the last set or you can bet I'll come looking for you." One of them was nearly in tears as I explained, "You see, the only vandalism that happens in this town goes through me."

The other started to plead, saying anything he could think of to get me to release them and never look in their direction again.

Veronica had gotten out of her car during his speech.

I shook them and pointed their faces at her. "Now, apologize."

Before they could speak, she said, "I don't want their apology. It'd be worth less than my old tires."

I looked her in the eye and smirked. "Good point. Pay up, boys." They looked confused. "Pull out your wallets. How much cash you got on you?" Watching as they opened their wallets, I saw that they each had several crisp bills. "What do you think … $300 from each of them? Would that cover it?"

She tilted her head and played along. "Well, that would cover the tires and the tow, but I'm not sure that would cover your labor."

"Another good point. I'll tell you what … they can owe me."

The fear in their eyes was amusing to me. They quickly pulled out hundred dollar bills and handed them to Veronica. They looked back and forth between me and her. "So, are we good now?"

I waited for her to take the lead before releasing them. With a wicked smile, she nodded.

To the appropriately frightened pair, I said, "I'll be keeping an eye on you. Don't make me come collecting more than you already owe me. Now, why don't you skedaddle before I become … annoyed."

When they were out of earshot, I rubbed my jaw as I said, "Well, that was fun."

Trying to hand me the bills, she said, "Here. Can you make sure that your uncle gets this?"

Shaking my head, I told her, "I already took care of your bill. Keep it."

"Are you sure?" She offered one more time before folding the cash and putting it away. "Thank you. For everything."

"My pleasure." And it had been. More than I would have thought. She was not the girl that Lilly had described, not at all what I expected. Had she changed that much in the past few months? Or was the real Veronica starting to show herself? "Let me know if you need anything else."

"I will." She smiled at me as she turned to walk toward the school.

As I watched her go, I realized I didn't have her number. I'd have to wait for her to use mine. And I really hoped that she would.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day at lunch, I positioned myself so I could keep an eye on her. But more than that, I wanted to watch her. I was barely following the conversation at our table. Too busy studying her. She looked up and caught me looking. She held my gaze for a moment and then looked down. She was digging in her bag and pulled out her phone. After she typed something, she put the phone down and went back to eating.

My phone beeped. I checked to see if it was anything important. And it was.

_Hi. Enjoying lunch?_

Looking up, I saw she was now watching me. I typed the following reply: f _ood sucks but I'm enjoying the view_ … which I immediately deleted. Then, I typed:  _it is what it is. but better now. thanks for your number._

I watched as she checked her phone. She smiled.

**~*~*~**

Over the next couple days, we texted back and forth during the day. Nothing much, just random commentary on the events of the day.

On Friday afternoon, I was in the parking lot with the guys when my phone rang. I looked at the screen and stepped away as I answered. "Something wrong?"

"No."

"You sure? 'Cause you've never called before."

"I just … wanted to hear your voice." She paused. "And to tell you to have a nice weekend."

I wasn't sure what to say to that. "Thanks. Yeah, you too."

"See you Monday," she said as she ended the call.

Monday. Days away. It was gonna be a long weekend.

Then, I saw her walking toward her car. I went back over to my bike and told the guys I had to take care of something.

Felix asked, "Need us to do anything?"

"No. I'll catch up with you later."

A minute later, I was pulling out into traffic, following Veronica's car.

**~*~**

She parked in front of an office building. After she went inside, I pulled up where I could read the lettering on the door. Mars Investigations. I heard he became a private investigator after he got voted out.

Around the corner, I found an open parking spot and dialed her number.

She answered, "Hi. What's up?"

"Is this a bad time?"

"No, just surprised to hear from you."

"You hung up before I had a chance to ask what you were doing this weekend."

"Nothing special. Hanging out at home with Dad and my dog. Putting in some hours at work."

"Where do you work?"

"I help out in Dad's office."

There it is – the piece of info I was looking for. Now, I knew where she spent her time. School, work, … just needed her home address.

"How often do you do that?" I asked.

"Most days after school. I do homework in between answering the phone and filing. Right now, I'm his only employee. But he's been getting more clients. Not sure if he'll hire someone else or not."

"Well, I'll let you get back to work." I was about to say goodbye, but instead I said, "If you get bored, call me."

**~*~*~**

I didn't hear from her until Sunday. When she called, I could hear wind and waves in the background.

"Where are you?"

"At the beach. Playing catch with my dog."

We had been talking for about 15 minutes when she must have heard the motorcycles that pulled up next to me.

"You need to go?"

"Yeah." I nodded at Felix and Chardo before I finished the call. "But I'm glad you called."

**~*~*~**

The next week at school, we talked almost every day – by phone only. We both knew that she was taking enough shit from our classmates. There was no need to give them more ammunition.

Always across the courtyard or down the hall from each other – at least, I could see her face and hear her voice at the same time. Sometimes, we talked about nothing at all. Sometimes, we talked about how grief would sucker punch us at the most unexpected times.

It was so damn easy to talk to her.

**~*~*~**

On Friday morning, I noticed one of the tire slashers was hassling Veronica, who had just gotten out of her car.

I muttered under my breath as I started to move toward her, "I thought these two fools understood me." I didn't mean to say it loud enough for the others to hear me.

"What's up?" The question came from a few mouths.

I didn't take the time to explain. "Go on in. Nothing you need to worry about. I got this." Making my way across the parking lot, I walked up behind the guy and clapped a hand on his shoulder. "My bitch. I'm not sure that I could have made myself any clearer. Told you I'd be keeping an eye on you. Now, I know you can't be that dumb. You must know that I can make your life … difficult."

He was smug as he said, "Not as difficult as I can make hers."

"You don't wanna test that theory." I gave him one of my more intimidating glares.

A moment later, he decided to walk away.

Her voice was shaky as she said, "Thank you."

"No problem." I didn't like seeing her this rattled. Wished there was something I could do to fix it. The next words came out of my mouth before I could think it through. "When was the last time you had weekend plans?"

"A long time ago … when I used to have friends."

"So, you're free this weekend?"

"Well, I was thinking how nice it would be to curl up with my favorite companion and watch movies while my dad's out of town."

I wasn't sure what she meant by that. She must have seen that on my face.

She smirked as she said, "You didn't think I meant you, did you? I was talking about my dog, Backup."

"Nice name for a Sheriff's dog. So, hypothetically … if he's out of town, you could stay out late and not get in trouble?"

Tilted her head, she asked, "Are you asking me out?"

"I'm suggesting that you could use a night out. I know a little town about an hour from here that has a drive-in movie theater. Doubt we'd see anyone from Neptune there."

"Hypothetically, would we take my car?"

"I was thinking my bike. Take a blanket to sit on."

"You'd have to let me pay … as a thank you for the tires. Hypothetically."

"Is that a yes?"

She smiled and tapped her finger on her bottom lip. "Let me think about it. I'll get back to you."

**~*~**

Later in the day, the rest of the guys were making their plans for the weekend. They asked if I wanted in.

Shaking my head, I told them, "I think I'm busy."

Most of them didn't question it, but Felix said, "You been busy a lot lately."

"Meaning?"

"Just wondering if maybe you got yourself a girl." He waited for me to talk. When I didn't, he asked, "Whatcha got going this weekend?"

"Gonna take a long ride outta town. Need to clear my head."

"Need some company?" Felix offered.

I raised an eyebrow. "Already planning to take some."

"So … there is a girl."

**~*~*~**

At the end of the day, I texted her about when to pick her up. She said she had to stop at the office for about half an hour and then go home to take care of her dog.

That gave me time to go home to get a couple blankets and a portable radio. When I said I'd be out late, I could see the concern on my grandma's face as she asked where I was going. She seemed relieved that my plans weren't dangerous or illegal. I didn't mention the girl's name. I wondered what she'd do if the former Sheriff found out and showed up on our doorstep.

When Veronica called to tell me that she was about to head home and started to give me directions, I told her I'd just follow her. She had just stepped out onto the sidewalk. I waved from the opposite side of the street. She laughed and shook her head as she got into her car.

When we got to her apartment building, she didn't want me to walk her to her door. Nosy neighbors. In a few minutes, she returned with her dog and invited me to go for a walk. After that, she went back up to her apartment to feed him and change her clothes. While she did that, I went down to the corner to fill up the tank.

Then, we were on the road. It took just over an hour to get there. We pulled up to the drive-in and looked at the marquee to see what was showing. They had two screens, so we would have to choose. Since it was less than an hour before dusk, the cars were lined up, waiting to get in.

One screen was showing a pair of action movies, which she didn't seem too excited to see. The other screen had two recent releases clearly aimed at a teen audience: The Perfect Score and Love Don't Cost a Thing. We went with option #2.

I chose a spot in the front row – where our view wouldn't be blocked by cars when we were sitting on the blanket. We went to the concession stand to load up on junk food – popcorn, soft pretzel, mozzarella sticks, and Coke. Then, we went back to our spot, laid out a blanket, and tuned the radio to the drive-in's station.

In the last few minutes before the first movie started, the sky was lit up in a rainbow of colors. It was a little warmer than it would normally be this time of year, but I'd brought an extra blanket in case it got cold.

We had talked about just watching one movie, but she suggested staying for the second. I certainly didn't mind spending more time with her. When I was folding up the blanket after the second movie, she asked if there was anywhere nearby we could go to talk. There was a diner about a mile down the road. I had a burger and fries; she had a BLT. Then, we shared a sundae. Since the diner was open 24/7, we didn't really notice how late it was getting. It was only when I started to yawn that she looked at the time. It was almost 3 a.m.

She was the one who brought up whether or not I was awake enough to drive. I was glad I didn't have to be the one to do it.

"I swear I didn't plan this, Veronica."

"Of course, you didn't. I'm the one who wanted to stay for the second movie and suggested finding somewhere to talk."

"Yes, but I'm getting too tired to drive safely. And that means not getting you home tonight. If I'd known, I could have called my aunt who lives nearby, but I can't just show up in the middle of the night. She'd freak. Which means our only option is …"

"The motel across the road?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I promised to pay tonight as a thank you. I paid for everything at the drive-in and I'll pay for the food here. But I didn't bring enough cash to cover anything else."

"If you don't mind staying the night, I don't mind paying. It's not just the safer option, it's cheaper than repairing my bike, not to mention hospital bills."

While she paid the bill at the diner, I went over to the motel to get a room. When I walked out of the office, she was leaning against my bike. Considering the way my brain and body reacted to that sight … it was time to admit that I definitely did not think of her as a friend.

After we got into our room, I grabbed the extra blanket and a pillow, heading for an open space on the floor.

"Weevil, you're not going to be comfortable on the floor." She pulled the sheet back, inviting me to climb into the bed.

That was surprising enough, but I was stunned when she scooted over toward me.

"Would you mind just holding me? Try anything else and you'll be dealing with my dad."

I laughed a little and then opened my arms. She curled into my side and laid her head on my chest. It felt completely natural. Wonderful and strange. And dangerous.


	3. Chapter 3

When I woke up, it took me a minute to remember where I was. Then, I turned my head and saw her an arm's length away. I could've stayed there all day watching her sleep. The most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

She opened her eyes and asked, "How long have you been awake?"

"Not sure."

After she stretched and rolled toward me, she said, "I'm hungry."

"I'll run over and get breakfast."

"While you're gone, I'll take a shower."

I walked out the door trying not to picture what I'd be missing. When I got to the diner, I realized I didn't ask her what she wanted. I ordered a few things that I like and figured I'd eat whatever she didn't want. While I waited, I drank a cup of coffee.

In case she wasn't dressed yet, I decided to knock before I let myself into the room. She was on the bed, lying on her side watching tv. Her hair was wet and she was in a tank top and jeans. I remembered that she'd gotten mustard on her shirt last night; she hadn't put it back on. When she turned her head toward me as I came in, I had a clear view down her tank top. If she was any other girl, I'd let my hormones control my actions. But she wasn't any other girl.

She meant it when she said she was hungry. In fact, she was so hungry, she couldn't decide what she wanted to eat. We ended up putting all the take-out boxes in the middle of the table and we both ate some of everything. The girl could eat her weight in waffles.

One of her legs was tucked under her on the chair. Her feet were bare. I was trying not to stare, but there was something about her feet. Maybe it was how soft and delicate they looked. Maybe it was the pink polish on her toenails.

In between bites, I asked as casually as possible, "You wanna head straight home or make a day of it?"

"What did you have in mind?"

"Ride around … show you some of my favorite views."

"Home by dinner time?"

"Sure," I said, already sorry the day would have to end.

"Need to check in with my dad before my phone dies."

After she finished a few more bites, she made the call. I was curious what she was going to tell him. And I wished I could hear both sides of the conversation.

"Hey, Dad. Checking in." She paused. "I don't have my charger with me and I won't be home 'til this evening. I wanted to call so you don't worry." Another pause. "I'm with a friend … someone who was also friends with Lilly. I haven't really had anyone to talk to lately. We went to a movie last night and then got talking and it got late … so I just slept here. Mm-hmm. Gonna hang out for a while before I head home." She glanced at me during this pause. "Well, that is the norm … people having names. Her name is Elly." Another pause. "Yeah. Alright. I'll call from home later. See you tomorrow."

After she got off the phone, I asked, "Elly?"

"Well, I mostly told the truth. I'm gonna have to ease him into this."

"You lie like a pro. I wouldn't have expected that."

She smiled shyly. "I need to call a neighbor to check on Backup."

While she was on the phone arranging for someone to take care of her dog today, I got a call from Felix. I stepped outside. Mostly, he was just checking to see what was on the agenda for today. But once I told him that I wouldn't be available 'til later tonight, he started rambling about Neptune gossip. That gossip included a video that had started circulating.

"Seriously, man? You have it?" Then, I barked, "Send it to me."

I watched it before going back into the room. Felix was right. It was definitely her.

When I walked through the door, she was throwing away the garbage from breakfast. I took her hand and led her over to a chair to sit down. I sat on the edge of the bed, facing her and still holding her hand. "Need to tell you something. There's no easy way to say this." Looking into her eyes, I took a deep breath. She didn't deserve this – or anything else that had happened in the past few months. "That night you don't remember … someone took video of you."

"What are you talking about?"

"While I was on the phone with Felix, he mentioned that there's a video going around … since last night, I think. Emailed to everyone's school accounts. If I had to guess, it was one of the guys who slashed your tires … probably the one I threatened yesterday."

"Do you have a copy?"

"Of the video? I had Felix send it to my phone."

"Did you watch it?"

"Yes. Just to be sure that it was you."

She seemed calm, but it was probably shock. "Can you see who I'm with?"

"Can't see his face."

"I want to see it."

"What?" I asked.

"I want … I need to see the video."

"Are you sure?"

She said, "Yes," but she shook her head 'no.'

I watched her as she watched the two-minute video. When it finished, she played it again.

Pointing at the screen of my phone, she said, "It's been edited. It was filmed from two angles. And as nauseating as it is for me to say this … it's two different guys. Can't see either of their faces."

"Are you okay?"

She took a deep breath and looked down at her hands in her lap. "Here I thought things might be getting back to normal … or something like it."

In that moment, all I knew was that I needed to hold her. I leaned forward to hug her and found myself on my knees, between her thighs. She was clinging to me and soon she was sobbing.

She babbled, trying to tell me something that seemed important to her, but I couldn't understand what she was saying. She began gasping between words and then hiccupping.

After I got her to calm down, she was finally able to explain that although she knew she had been raped, she had been able to stay in denial – to a certain extent anyway. But seeing the video made it real.

I was still holding her and couldn't see her face. But I didn't need to. I could tell there was something else she wasn't saying. Although I didn't want to ask, I knew I had to. "You don't have to answer this if you don't want to. But had you ever had sex before that night?"

Her whole body tensed up. I had my answer.

I held her tighter and stroked her hair. I didn't know what to say; I didn't even try. I just held her until the tension went away.

As I sat back on my heels and looked up at her, she wiped her face with one of the napkins left on the table.

"Veronica, if there's anything I can do to fix this or make it even a little better …"

"What did you have in mind?"

"Well, for starters, those two in the video and anyone else involved are in need of a serious beat down."

"While I can see the appeal in that approach, please don't."

"Why not?"

"You're the only friend I have right now. You know they'd press charges. You'd be behind bars and I wouldn't have anyone. That's not an option as far as I'm concerned."

"Any objections if they end up taped to a flagpole?"

She gave me a sad smile and a small laugh. Damn. Even after crying her eyes out, the girl was radiant.

"Any other plans to make things better? Or is your duct tape plan going to  _magically_  take away all my pain?"

She probably didn't mean that as a serious question, but I chose to answer it that way. "No other plans … exactly. But an offer." I could tell as she watched me that she knew that I wasn't joking. "I would like a chance to take away at least some of the pain." I held both of her hands. "I don't want you to associate sex with what these assholes did to you." I kissed her hands as I waited to see what her response would be. "I would like the opportunity to see if we can't erase that pain and replace it with pleasure – as much pleasure as you can handle." The look on her face told me that she knew exactly what I was offering. "Give me some time and your trust … and we'll see how much  _magic_  it takes to make the pain disappear."

I placed my hands on her thighs and pulled myself up to kneeling again.

We were face to face as she asked, "You don't mean now, do you?"

"No. And not in some crappy motel room." I kissed her on the cheek. "We need to check out, but if you want to go somewhere we can talk before heading home …"

She nodded.

Standing up to make a quick phone call, I took a few steps away from Veronica. "Hey. Wanted to let you know I'm gonna be dropping by in a little while."

The voice on the other end asked, "Are you staying over?"

"No. Just need to shower and change."

I clicked my phone closed and grabbed my jacket and helmet. Within minutes, we were on my bike headed down the road. After a few miles, I realized she hadn't asked where we were going.

Fifteen minutes later, we pulled into a driveway. I parked around back, beside the stairs to the garage apartment. We walked up to the door. I let myself in.

"You have your own key?"

Pointing across the yard, I said, "My aunt's house. I do car repairs for her as rent. Sometimes, I need somewhere to crash … when I don't wanna go home … or I need to get out of Neptune."

I went to the fridge as she looked around the apartment – open kitchen/dining/living room and two doors leading to the bathroom and bedroom.

Offering her a can of soda, I said, "I'm gonna take a shower." As I moved toward the bathroom, she sat down on the couch next to my jacket.

Using my time in the shower to think through everything, I must have gotten lost in thought. I'm not sure how many times she knocked.

She opened the door part way. "I'm sorry. I wanted to forward myself the video … in case I might find any clues watching it again."

I poked my head around the curtain and saw her holding my phone. She needed the PIN. I reached for the phone, punched in the four digits, and handed it back to her.

When I came out of the bathroom, I went straight to the kitchen to get a bag for my dirty clothes.

"You keep clothes here?"

"Yeah. First aid kit, a little food, a few beers. That's about it. My aunt is nice enough to wash the towels and sheets after I've been here. She'll do basic cleaning as long as I don't trash the place."

She was holding up my phone with a smirk on her face. "My code name is Linda?"

Shaking my head, I avoided her eyes. "In case anyone ever got a look at my phone, I thought it would be better if …"

"No, I get it," she said.

"It means …"

"Beautiful."

"Yeah … How much Spanish do you know?" I asked.

"Enough." There was that surprisingly wicked grin again.

Sitting down next to her and pointing at the phone, I asked, "How're you doing?"

With fake cheerfulness that would rival any pep squad member, she replied, "Super excited about school on Monday!"

"Got a plan yet?"

"For starters, I walk in … head held high. And I start making mental notes, putting names on a list. Eventually, I figure out who recorded it and sent it out … and who the two faceless guys are."

"And then?"

She shrugged. "Something less than murder, but more than a slap."

"Sounds like you want me to hold off on the duct tape for now." I paused as she nodded. "Well, you know who to call if you need any help."

"I do. Thank you."

She leaned over to kiss me on the cheek, her breast rubbing against my arm. Then, she rested her head on my shoulder, her forehead against my neck. I wrapped my arms around her. For several minutes, she just let me hold her again. It felt amazing, but if we stayed this way for long, I would want to do more than just hold her.

No sooner did that thought run through my head, her lips were kissing one side of my neck as her fingers caressed the other side.

"Veronica. What are you doing?"

"Taking you up on your offer."

"Much I'd enjoy that ... not today. When we do, it won't be just because you're in need of comfort ... or you're trying to forget. It's gonna be because … you need to satisfy a desire … and you want something to remember."

"You said  _when_ , not  _if_."

"I did."

Then, I kissed her like I've never kissed anyone before. I didn't know a kiss could be so … intimate. I needed another shower – a cold one. Instead, I got a nap on the couch with Veronica's head resting on my chest.

After we woke up, we took the scenic route back to Neptune. Even that was too short.

When I dropped her off in front of her building, I told her to call me. Mostly because it was gonna drive me crazy not seeing her 'til Monday.


	4. Chapter 4

When we spoke on Sunday, I asked if she wanted me to meet her or give her a ride in the morning. She said no, but I made sure to get to school early on Monday. I waited in the parking lot until she got there. The moment her car pulled onto the lot, the whispers began. I sent the boys inside 'cause I wasn't sure what I was gonna do, but I didn't want to have to answer their questions once I decided.

She got out of her car and looked over at me. I nodded but did not move. She had only walked a few car lengths before a couple guys started following her, saying things to her. Walking up behind them, I tapped the guys on the shoulder and dismissed them with a glare. I moved in front of her to stop her.

Whispering as I got in her personal space, I said, "We can play this as me making unwanted advances … or if you want, I'll put my arm around you ... and we'll deal with the fallout together."

Her eyelids fell closed as she said, "I'm not sure I'm ready for that." She opened her eyes and looked straight at me. "But you're welcome to continue making advances, if you think it will keep the truly unwanted ones away."

I stepped to the side so she could walk past me. Then, I followed her in.

**~*~**

Between classes, I'd check on her without getting too close. However during lunch, I had to step in again. She was at a table alone when a group of jocks sat down and started in on her. The 09ers were watching and encouraging their behavior.

Turning to Felix, I said, "No matter what happens, all of you stay here. Got it?"

I didn't wait for him to respond before I went over to her table. "These guys bothering you?" She looked up at me and I could see that she was holding back tears. To the cluster of fucktards who had gathered, I barked, "Time for all of you to go. Now!"

After they left, I looked at Veronica, who was staring at her food. Sitting down next to her, I said softly, "How do you want me to play this?" I picked up the brownie on her tray and broke off a piece. As I chewed, I watched her eyes and could tell she was considering her options.

"I think we should stick with this for now," she said.

"So … to everyone else I'm stalking you … like I'm hoping to get lucky?" I studied her face as she gave a small nod. "Okay. I'm just gonna sit here another minute and keep talking to you. I'll be in the hallway at the end of school. I'll follow you out to your car. If you want me to follow you home, text me." I took another piece of her brownie. She watched as I brought it to my mouth. After I finished chewing, I leaned over to whisper in her ear, "Call me later."

As I walked back to my usual table, it was clear that almost everyone had been watching us. When I sat down, I got questioning looks from all the guys, but only Felix spoke.

"What was that about, Weevs?"

"Nothing you need to worry about. But I better not see any of you messing with her. All you need to know right now is that the 09ers are the enemy and she's the victim."

Everyone at the table either nodded or said, "Got it."

**~*~**

I checked on her a few more times during the day but kept my distance. At the end of the day, I gave Felix instructions to park next to her car and keep an eye on it 'til she got there. Good thing I delegated that. She wasn't in the hall after her last class and I had to wait a while. Finally, I saw her coming from the office. I positioned myself a couple lockers from hers so we could talk while she got her books.

She told me that the counselor heard about the video and the harassment. My name was mentioned as one of the guys harassing her. Miss James wanted to know if Veronica wanted any assistance.

"What did you tell her?" I asked.

"I told her that we're friends and you were just chasing away the ones doing the harassing."

Miss James came around the corner, stopping when she saw me standing there. "Veronica, you forgot this in my office." She handed Veronica a jacket and asked cautiously, "Everything okay?"

"Yeah. Thank you," Veronica said.

"Eli. It's been a while. How are you doing?"

I glanced at Veronica before answering, "Better. It helps to have someone to talk to."

Looking back and forth between the two of us, Miss James said, "Good to hear. Let me know if either of you needs anything." She smiled and then walked away.

We stood there for a moment before Veronica closed her locker and put on her jacket. We walked side-by-side until we got to the exit. Then, I stayed a few steps behind her 'til we got near her car.

Felix was there waiting.

"Any problems?" I asked as we bumped fists.

"Potential problem, but it got handled."

Veronica was standing at her open car door. Her voice was soft as she said, "Thank you."

I followed her home and watched her walk up the stairs to her apartment. Later that night, we talked on the phone and put together a game plan for the week.

**~*~*~**

Tuesday was worse than Monday. After lunch, Veronica went to see Miss James, who then had me called to the office. Veronica explained to Miss James that she did not want to tell her dad what was going on, because that would mean telling him about the rape, which she was not ready to do. He was out of town the next couple of days anyway. Miss James really thought that Veronica should talk to her dad before he heard it from someone else, but unless things escalated, she would do things Veronica's way. She suggested Veronica go home "sick" and stay home tomorrow to see if things settled down. She made arrangements to get Veronica's assignments and asked if I could take everything to her this afternoon.

Then, they both warned me to not get in trouble trying to protect or defend Veronica.

Miss James finished with, "Besides, if you get suspended or arrested, who will Veronica have to talk to at school?"

No point in arguing. She was right. I had to be here in case Veronica needed me. But I could delegate.

**~*~**

After I went back to class, Miss James escorted Veronica to the nurse and then back to the office to get her signed out for the day. Veronica texted me before she drove home, saying she had taken all her books with her. Miss James called me to the office at the end of the day to give me Veronica's assignments for today and tomorrow.

"You'll make sure she gets these?"

"Absolutely," I said.

"It's not any of my business, but …"

"But you're gonna ask anyway?"

She smiled at me and laughed. "Yeah. Are you two … involved?"

I just looked at her, since I didn't know how to answer that.

She kept talking. "Just a bit of advice? If you're not … yet … don't. What I mean is … what she needs is a friend. And I'm sure you realize that she's vulnerable."

"All due respect … I don't think I like what you're implying."

"Eli, that's not what I meant."

"Then, what did you mean?"

"You said it helps to have her to talk to. She said the same of you. She trusts you. And you seem to need each other right now. I'm just trying to say … think hard before you change the dynamic of your relationship."

I looked away. "Yeah. Okay. I hear ya."

"You'll let me know how she's doing? If she needs anything?"

"Yeah," was my reply. But I was thinking:  _If she needs something,_ _I'll take care of it._

The guys were waiting for me in the parking lot. A few of them gave me strange looks when they saw the stack of papers in my hand. I figured the truth was the easiest explanation – well, partial truth, anyway.

"Miss James saw me talking to Veronica the other day. She asked me to take her assignments to her." Seeing their confused looks, I added, "Veronica went home early. Probably staying home tomorrow, too. Letting things blow over."

"That's why you got called to the office? Blondie?" Felix asked.

"Yeah. Anyway … I gotta drop this stuff off to her."

"Why you?" Chardo wanted to know.

"In case you didn't notice, she doesn't have many friends these days."

"And we're supposed to believe this has nothing to do with the way she looks?" Hector asked.

"Believe what you want. I'm telling you the way it is." I put on my helmet and said, "Later."

**~*~**

When I pulled up in front of her building, I called to ask her if she wanted to come down to get the papers. She asked me to bring them up to her.

"Not a problem. But you sure? Neighbors and all."

She laughed. "Worrying about what other people think won't get me very far right now."

"Be right up."

The door opened before I could knock. "Thank you," she said as she reached for the papers I brought.

"Can we talk?"

"Come on in." She backed away. As I entered and closed the door behind me, she continued to retreat. "Can I get you something? Glass of water, maybe?" She didn't wait for my reply. Instead, she got two glasses from the cupboard and poured water into them. She stayed on the other side of the kitchen island as she handed me one of the glasses.

"Thanks." I watched as she nervously fidgeted.

"You said you wanted to talk. Did something happen after I left?"

"No. I mean, not that I know of." I paused, unsure where to begin.

She finally looked me in the eye as she said, "Just say it. Whatever it is. The suspense is killing me."

"Things are complicated right now …" I started.

"You think?"

I held up a hand to silence her. "Let me finish. Things could get  _more_  complicated before they blow over. We need to get a few things straight … now … before things go any further."

She leaned back against the counter and waited for me to continue.

"The way things are right now – with us playacting at school – we need to agree that if anything happens or gets said in public … before getting upset about it, wait til we can talk it out privately."

"Because we might need to say or do things we don't mean?"

"Exactly. And when we spend time together …"

"When it's just the two of us?"

"Yes. We never part ways with unfinished business. No unanswered questions or unresolved disagreements. We clear the air before we say goodbye. Same goes for phone calls. Got it?"

"Anything else?" she asked.

"I need you to always answer my questions … no lying to me, no holding back or avoiding me."

"Why?"

It had been a long time since someone questioned instructions I gave them. But I knew I couldn't force her. She would have to choose to trust me.

"I get that it's easier to hide behind a wall. It protects you from everything that's been thrown at you … everything that's still being thrown at you. But you do not put a wall between us. Do you hear me?"

"Why is this so important to you?"

I rubbed the back of my head and neck, looking away. How do I explain it to her, when I don't understand it? "You need a friend right now. And God help me, I feel the need to protect you. So,  _I_  am your wall.  _I_ am what stands between you and everyone else. But for me to protect you, you can't hide from me. There are some things that I just won't allow. Like lying or playing games. Like assumptions and miscommunication. Like anger or grudges. Not with people who are close to me." I looked her straight in the eye as I said, "Not with people I choose to trust."

Her eyes were locked on mine. She didn't move. She didn't speak. I had no idea what she was thinking.

After a long silence, she looked down and took a deep breath. "Is this a one-sided agreement?"

"No." I watched as she raised her head to look at me. Then, I added, "Except … I'm sure you realize that I'm not answering questions about PCH business." I waited for her to reply. Finally, I asked, "We good here?"

"Yeah. Okay. To all of it." She gave me a weak smile.

I walked around the island to stand in front of her. "And the moment you decide … you're ready for people to know that … we associate with one another, just let me know." I brushed her hair out of her eyes, hoping that if I could look into them, then maybe I could figure out what she was thinking. "Though, now is probably not the best time. It would add fuel to the rumors."

It took a few seconds before she realized what I was talking about. I could tell the moment it happened, because she blushed and looked away. She crossed her arms over her chest. She started biting her lip. Everything about her told me that she was nervous. I didn't want to make her nervous, but hell if I was gonna back out of her personal space until she told me why.

"Veronica, what's going on in that head of yours?"

She didn't answer, but she did look me in the eye. Her eyes told me everything I needed to know.

Moving slowly, I took her face in my hands and said softly, "Nothing is going to happen – today or in the future – that you don't want. Clear?"

When she nodded, it was such a small movement that I didn't so much see it as I felt her head move in my hands. I pressed a kiss to her forehead and then stepped back.

"I have an idea. Since you're not going to school tomorrow … what do you say we get out of town? We can go to my aunt's."

"What about Backup?" she asked.

"He can come too. We'll take your car." I could see that she was trying to talk herself out of it. "Stop that. Stop thinking and go pack."

"Okay, but …"

"But what?"

"Let me get some homework done so I don't have to take everything with me."

That was a reasonable request and she wasn't saying no to my idea. I told her I'd take my motorcycle home and get a ride back. That should give her time to do what she needed to do.

During the ride back to my house, I had time to think. I wasn't sure where this was going – I just knew that I needed to be with her ... as much as she would let me.


	5. Chapter 5

When I got home, I half expected Chardo to be there, but he wasn't. Probably better that way. I called Felix to ask if he could give me a ride. He borrowed a car to take me back to Veronica's, though I didn't tell him that's where we were headed.

Once we were on the road, I told him, "I'll be at Celia's 'til tomorrow night."

"Alone?" When I didn't answer, he said with a hint of teasing in his tone, "Ah! It's all starting to make sense."

I rubbed my jaw and looked out the passenger side window. "I'm glad it makes sense to you, 'cause it sure as hell doesn't make sense to me."

"Then, why take the risk?" He seemed genuinely interested.

Even though he was the best friend I'd ever had, we didn't really do the heart-to-heart thing. But if I could tell anyone, it would be him.

Shaking my head, I thought for a minute before I replied. "The more I get to know her, the more I want to know. That's all I got right now."

That … and the fact that although I hadn't been there to protect Lilly, I was not about to let anything happen to her BFF.

As I got out of the car, I told him to keep his ear to the ground while I was gone. If anyone said anything about Veronica or the video, I wanted to know right away.

"You got it, boss."

**~*~**

When I got up to Veronica's apartment, we ate an early dinner. She had a fridge full of leftovers that her father expected her to eat while he was away.

After taking Backup for a walk, we drove to my aunt's place. I let Veronica into the apartment to get settled. Then, I walked over to the house to say hi to Aunt Celia.

She and her two kids had moved to this little town after her husband died. She didn't mind when I came to visit, because she always had things she needed help with. In addition to keeping her car running, I would do some yard work and repairs around the house. Since I was going to be around for 24 hours this time, I thought I'd check if she needed anything.

Turns out, there was nothing she needed me to do, but she was curious about me bringing company. "Eli, you don't usually have anyone with you. This is twice now. And a girl? Should I be expecting an angry father at my door?"

"She's a friend."

"Please. I'm not stupid. I saw her."

"I'm not saying she's not … attractive. It's just … we're not … you know. She needs a friend right now. I'm not sure how much she'd be comfortable with me telling you, but … some guys … took advantage of her. Recorded it and then spread the video around. All her friends turned on her. She needed to get away for a bit. That's all this is."

She smiled and shook her head. "Oh, Eli." She patted the side of my face with her hand, looked me in the eye, and asked, "How long have you been in love with her?"

I stepped away from her. "What are you talking about?"

Ignoring my non-answer, she laughed and said, "She must be some girl."

Celia was one of the very few people who I let get away with teasing me. But I knew she loved me, that I could trust her, and that she always told me the truth – even when I didn't want to hear it.

She seemed to be waiting for me to say something. When I didn't, she continued, "You're gonna be around all day tomorrow? Well, you're welcome to come in the house. Use the tv and internet. Eat anything you want. We'll be home around 6. Dinner at 6:30, if you're still here."

"Thanks. One more thing … Can I get a couple extra blankets?"

She laughed at me. "You know where the closet is."

**~*~**

As I walked back up to the apartment, I wasn't sure what I'd find. I wasn't sure if everything had hit her yet. When I walked in, she was on the phone, pacing back and forth. It wasn't her dad, but I couldn't figure out who she was talking to. She didn't seem to mind that I heard what she was saying.

When she ended the call, she sat down on the couch and pulled a notebook out of her messenger bag. She made notes as she told me about the call.

"That was Mac. Another new friend. Came up to me this morning to offer help."

"Mac? Do I know him?" Suddenly, I not only felt protective but also jealous.

" _She_  … is a classmate of ours, but today's the first time we've spoken to one another. Fellow outsider with a good heart … and apparently kickass computer skills."

I laughed, partly because I was relieved Mac is a girl, but also because it was strange to hear a word like  _kickass_  come from that sweet face.

She continued, "Earlier, Mac said that if I was interested, she could find out where the video originated and which students forwarded it." She must have seen the confusion on my face. "The email was sent to the entire student body. So even though it was not sent from a student email account, the person had to have everyone's emails … so it's probably a student. No way to tell from the sender's hotmail address who it is – "alwayswatching" could be anyone. I don't completely understand what she did. I mean, she explained it, but it's a little out of my realm of knowledge. Anyway, she traced the IP address of the computer it was sent from ... in the 90909 zip code – no surprise, considering who was at the party – but nothing more than that. Yet."

"You said something about forwarded emails."

"Yeah. You can't tell anyone this part. She hacked into the school server. She got me a list of all the students who forwarded it. Some forwarded it to people outside our school. Some sent it to their private account … for what purpose, I don't want to know." She paused. "But I'm not sure I can figure all this out with  _just_  her techno-savvy. I'm gonna need information from people who were there. Now, I just have to figure out how to get them to give me what I need."

"Wow." I shook my head.

"What?" she asked.

"That look in your eyes just now … I've seen that before. You are definitely your father's daughter."

**~*~**

Backup gave us a good excuse to take a walk through the neighborhood and into the little downtown area. We stopped at Dairy Queen and ate our ice cream outside at a picnic table. Backup seemed to enjoy the ice cubes Veronica gave him.

On the way back, as we were walking down my aunt's street, it was starting to get dark. Celia must have seen us leaving, because she had turned on the outside lights for us. Walking up the stairs to the apartment, I was thankful for that.

Veronica said she wanted to take a shower, but I'm pretty sure she just wanted an excuse to be alone. We still didn't know each other that well. This had to be as strange for her as it was for me.

Before she went into the bathroom, she asked if she could borrow a tshirt to sleep in – she forgot to pack pajamas. I pulled open a drawer and told her she could have her pick.

When the shower had been running for twenty minutes, I knocked on the door to ask if she was alright. She turned the water off as she told me she was "fine." But I heard something in her voice that told me she wasn't fine. Backup seemed concerned too – he had parked himself in front of the door.

I was leaning against the wall near the bathroom door when she opened it. Seeing her in my shirt, I almost forgot what I had wanted to say to her. Almost.

"Veronica, you agreed … no lying. You wanna answer that question again? Truthfully, this time." I was trying not to scold her. But if she couldn't answer a simple question, how could I be sure she'd be honest when it really mattered?

She looked down at the floor and then walked toward the bedroom. I followed her, took her by the arm, and turned her to face me.

Her voice was soft as she said, "I didn't say I was great or wonderful. Because I'm not. I'm also not devastated. I'm somewhere safe with someone I trust. Under the circumstances, I'd call that fine."

Although she had given me an answer, her eyes were still lowered. With a finger under her chin, I lifted her face so I could look at her. Her eyes were red and puffy. She calls that  _fine_?

"You've been crying."

"Yes, I have." She smirked. "But that's not what you asked me."

_That's how it's gonna be?_  I choked back that thought before asking, "Do you wanna talk about why you were crying? Or maybe I should ask: do we  _need_  to talk about it?"

"I wouldn't know what to say. Honestly. Probably just emotional overflow."

"I'll accept that for now. You look tired. You should get some sleep."

She nodded and yawned. "Do you have an extra blanket? For Backup."

I was glad I had gotten more than one from Celia's closet. "I'll trade you. Blanket for pillow." When I handed it to Veronica, she unfolded it partway and laid it in the corner of the room.

She saw me watching her. "If he doesn't have a designated spot, I guarantee he'll try to climb in with me during the night." She said, "Goodnight," as she pulled back the sheet to get into my bed.

In case she woke up during the night, I turned the closet light on. She climbed under the covers and picked up one pillow to hand to me. Walking away from that bed was harder than I expected. Shutting the door behind me, I wished her, "Sweet dreams," though I was sure I would have a sleepless night.

I stripped down to my boxers and laid down on the couch, pulling the blanket over myself. I was physically exhausted but not sleepy. My brain kept turning things over, trying to solve this mystery for her. But I didn't have enough information.

After about an hour, I got up to get a beer, thinking that might help me relax enough to go to sleep. Moving toward the fridge brought me closer to the bedroom door. It was faint, but I knew what I was hearing. I put my jeans back on and then slowly opened the door, trying not to startle her. I almost asked if she was alright, but remembered the answer she had given me earlier. Command decision time. I walked over to the bed and laid down on top of the blanket.

"Come 'ere," I said as I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her toward me.

She had been trying to hold back the tears, but now she let go. I tried to pretend I was holding one of my nieces or cousins. Having the blanket between us helped a little, but not enough.

In my mind, I heard Aunt Celia's question again:  _How long have you been in love with her?_

I had no idea how she felt about me. And I wasn't ready to say this was love. But I knew I was in too deep to walk away.

She curled up against me – head on my chest, arm across my abdomen.

At times, I stroked her hair with one hand and her arm with my other. I kissed the top of her head and listened to her breathing as it began to slow down.

The room was peaceful and I thought she might have fallen asleep until her voice broke the silence to ask, "Do you mind if I call you Eli?"

I considered the implication of her question – that she felt close enough to me that she wanted to use my name. When I replied, obviously my answer was: "Not at all." How could I ever mind hearing her say my name? Or for that matter, how could I mind hearing her say anything as I held her in my arms?

**~*~**

I'm not sure when I fell asleep, but I know when I woke up. She was thrashing around and crying out in her sleep. First, I stood up so I could pull back the blanket. Then, getting in under the covers, I grabbed her wrists, turned her around, and pulled her back to my chest.

Backup had managed to sleep through her crying, but was now awake and concerned about her. I hoped that as I tried to calm her down, my voice would also settle him down. Right now, I didn't have a spare hand to pet him.

As I held her, I spoke into her ear. "Veronica, wake up. You're having a bad dream. But it's just a dream. You're safe. I've got you. Wake up," I kept repeating this until she stopped struggling against my hold. Then, I said, "If you're awake, I'll let go of you."

She nodded and said, "I'm awake." As I let go of her wrists, she spun around in my arms, wrapping her arms around my neck and shoulders. "But don't let go."

After a while, she stopped shaking and loosened her hold on me. She pulled back so I could see her face.

"Do you remember what you were dreaming about?"

"Bits and pieces. I'm not sure if I'm starting to remember what happened that night or if my brain is just using the video content as a jumping off point and making things up. Either way, it was … awful."

I didn't know what to say to that and she didn't seem to want to talk about it anymore.

Leaning over her side of the bed, she scratched behind Backup's ears and rubbed his back. Then, she told him to lay back down on the blanket. He whimpered, but obeyed.

She stayed over on that side of the bed with her back turned to me. I wanted to know what she was thinking; I needed to see her face.

"Veronica?" As she rolled toward me, I asked, "Do you want me to stay?"

"Yes."

Eventually, we both drifted back to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

I slept soundly until I felt her stir. One of her legs was hooked over mine; one hand resting on my ribs. As she shifted position, the movement of her fingers tickled and her leg brushed up against the zipper of my jeans. After she shifted again, she was barely making contact with me.

Watching her, I could tell she wasn't quite awake yet, that she was not aware of where she was. But it was clear the moment she knew. She sat straight up.

When I said, "Good morning," she gave a brief look over her shoulder at me.

Then, she quickly turned away from me, sitting on the edge of the bed with her feet on the floor. Her whole body was tensed up.

"Veronica, what's wrong? Did you have another bad dream?"

"No." She dropped her head, covering her face with her hands.

"Then, what is it? Something's got you in knots." I slid over to her side of the bed to sit next to her.

She dropped her hands into her lap, but wouldn't look at me or respond.

"I thought we talked about this. No walls."

Still no answer. But she did turn her head to look me in the eye. I picked up one of her hands and held it in mine.

Glancing down at our hands, she started to say something, but stopped herself. Then, under her breath, she said, "Oh, thank God."

"I think I missed something."

"You're wearing jeans."

"Yes … I had them on when I came in here last night."

Shaking her head, she said, "Oh." She paused and then looked at me. "When I woke up, I … uh … you're not wearing a shirt and the sheet was …"

Although I wanted to laugh, I held back. "You thought I was naked?"

She blushed. Damn. She looked beautiful.

"Do you remember me coming in here last night?"

"When I was crying? Yes."

"And waking up from …?"

"The nightmare? Yes." She was rocking forward and back. "Thank you. For coming in. For staying."

I heard the words she was saying, but her actions told me she was nervous. "You don't seem comfortable with me being here. 'Cause when you woke up …"

"I was just a bit startled. It's not every day that I wake up next to …"

"Someone you barely know?"

"I was going to say: a hot tattooed biker."

She smiled nervously. Damn again. Beautiful.

_Wait – what did she say?_

My mind was sorting through too many things, trying to figure her out.

A long moment of silence passed before she said, "So, tell me about your tattoos, Eli."

That's a fairly personal question, but if I'm gonna hold her to the 'no walls' rule, I should give her an answer. I started with the ones on the front of my torso. She still seemed interested, so I continued to the ones on my arms. Then, she moved around behind me to look at the ones on my back. As I told her about those, she touched each one.

Still tracing the outline of the last one with her fingers, she asked, "Do you have a favorite?"

"They all have special meaning or I wouldn't have gotten them."

"Are you planning to get another one anytime soon?"

"Why?"

"I think I'd like to watch, if you wouldn't mind."

"Yeah. Okay. I'll let you know when I decide on my next one."

Her hands were still on my back. Being on the bed with her touching me had my pulse racing. I stood up and turned around to face her, planning to ask what she wanted to do today. But the words wouldn't come out. She was sitting on my bed with her legs curled under her – feet to one side, thighs exposed. Adorable and beautiful.

She tilted her head. "What?" When I didn't answer, she asked, "You said this honesty thing was two-way."

I cleared my throat and tried to prepare myself for her reaction. "I was just thinking how beautiful you look right now."

Her eyes lit up and she gave me a crooked smile. "I bet you say that to every half-naked female you've gotten into your bed."

I reached out for her hand and got her up on her knees. As I pulled on her arm, she inched toward me. I wanted her looking into my eyes when I said this. "I've never brought a girl here before. And I've never seen anyone as beautiful as you look right now."

"Oh." She seemed genuinely surprised by what I'd just said.

I wanted to kiss her, but I didn't. Because the thing was … I didn't just want to kiss her. A kiss wouldn't be enough. And I didn't know if she was ready for that. Until I was sure about that, I'd wait.

**~*~**

We got dressed and went over to the house to see what Celia had in the fridge. It was late morning, so we considered having a big breakfast. Then, we found leftover breaded chicken. There was pasta and sauce in the cupboard. So we decided to skip right over breakfast and make chicken parmesan for lunch.

After we ate and cleaned up the kitchen, we watched tv for a while. She had brought her messenger bag with her. She pulled out her laptop to do some homework. I ended up watching her more than the tv. She had the cutest habits – chewing on her thumb, twirling her hair, scrunching her eyebrows together when she was thinking hard.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I leaned over and took the laptop from her. As I shut it and placed it on the coffee table, she let out a sound that was a cross between a whine and a yelp.

"Why did you do that?"

"Because you're driving me crazy."

"I was just trying to get some homework done. I didn't realize I was bothering you."

I shook my head. "You keep doing these things that … make me think … impure thoughts."

"Oh – that's what you meant by driving you crazy." Her face was blank. "How about we go for a walk?"

A walk? All I could think about was throwing her down on the nearest flat surface ... and she wants to go for a walk? But these are the words that came out of my mouth: "Sounds great."

**~*~**

We spent almost two hours walking around town with Backup. Stopped for ice cream again. Went to the park. Then, we walked back.

Celia and the kids wouldn't be home for a while. We hadn't decided if we were staying for dinner or not. Her dad wouldn't be back until late tonight, so she didn't need to hurry home.

She wanted to take a nap. I suggested we decide on a plan after she woke up. She seemed surprised when I headed for the couch. "Aren't you going to …"

"What?"

"I'd like it if you'd … you know, in case I have another dream."

She wanted me to hold her. And there was no way I could say no to that request – even if she hadn't actually gotten all the words out.

Backup followed us into the bedroom. Although he had warmed up to me almost immediately, he seemed to feel the need to be her protector even with me here. I liked that about him – it meant that I could depend on him to be there for her when I couldn't. Once Veronica was in bed, he settled into his blanket in the corner.

**~*~**

We woke to knocking which turned into banging before I could get to the door. It was Celia's older son.

"Mom wanted me to ask if you're eating dinner with us."

"Give me a minute." I walked to the bedroom to ask Veronica.

"I'm not sure I'm up for meeting new people right now. But if your aunt will think I'm being rude, we can stay."

"Don't worry about it. I'll go tell her."

**~*~**

Celia was a little disappointed until I told her that I was sure she'd get another opportunity to meet Veronica. When I got back up to the apartment, Veronica had her stuff all packed up and ready to go. She even stripped the sheets off the bed. A few minutes later, we were on the road.

I had her drop me off at Angel's shop and got a ride home from there.

After a lecture from my grandma about skipping school, I called Felix to check in. He said that some of the boys were wondering where I was. He told them I was at my aunt's. They assumed she needed me to do something. They didn't question it.

_Good. I don't have time for drama in the ranks right now. I've got more important things on my mind._

That night, I had a hard time falling asleep. My bed and my arms felt empty – because they were. I'm not sure exactly when that girl had worked her way into my heart, but she had.


	7. Chapter 7

After our mid-week mini-vacation, we were both back at school on Thursday. Before school that morning, Veronica and I talked on the phone – mostly about her Dad getting home late last night and not suspecting that she had been away.

I was distracted in my morning classes. I wanted to be anywhere but here – as long as I could be alone with her.

Hanging out in the hall between classes, I tried to act like it was business as usual. I think I managed to fool most of the guys, but Felix knows me too well. Glad he didn't ask. Honestly, I'm not sure what I would have said if he did.

When I got to lunch, I saw her sitting at a table with a girl I didn't recognize. I waited until the nameless girl left. Then, I went over and sat down next to Veronica. While I picked at the food on her tray, we did what we normally did when speaking to each other in public – hushed voices and very little facial expression.

She told me that the girl who had been sitting with her was Mac. She also mentioned that Miss James had called her to the office during second period. Apparently, our favorite school counselor was convinced that Veronica should tell her dad what was going on. She even offered to call him in for a meeting so she could help Veronica tell him.

While I dipped a tater tot in ketchup, I asked her, "You think that's a good idea?"

"I don't know. Maybe. But I'm not ready yet."

I glanced over at the 09er table and saw that we had an audience. Duncan. "We're being watched."

"You seem surprised." She tilted her head.

"You don't." I raised one eyebrow.

She shrugged. "If someone was talking to your ex, I'm guessing you wouldn't like it any more than Duncan likes seeing you here with me."

**~*~**

After school, I watched her walk to her car. Then, Duncan approached her. Even though she didn't seem comfortable, I didn't go over right away. But when I saw him try to touch her arm and she pulled away, I knew it was time to step in. I told the others to stay put unless punches were thrown.

From a few yards away, I asked, "Is he bothering you?"

Duncan interrupted before she could answer. "Me? I've seen you … following her … talking to her ... harassing her."

Although I was there if she needed me, she took on the problem herself. "Seriously! Now you're concerned about me? You haven't talked to me since you broke up with me … without really telling me, I might add. So in my book, not only weren't you a very good boyfriend, but you weren't even a good friend. Where do you get off appointing yourself my protector?"

Damn. The girl was sassy. And I enjoyed it more than I should.

By the time she got finished with that little speech, she was nearly yelling. It must have caught Logan's attention.

He walked up and said, "Hey Ronnie. We've decided that we'd rather surf than study today. You wanna come with? Duncan will promise to take his shirt off. Does it make you horny? Hey, DK, flex for your ex."

"Shut up, Logan." Duncan spat the words.

Holding up a flask, Logan shook it in front of Veronica's face. "What do you say to a little hooch, huh? What's the matter? Aren't you your mother's daughter? Hmm? Now, there was a woman who could drink. Hey, what's she up to nowadays? Maybe she'll join us."

"Leave her alone, man." Again, Duncan tried to silence the idiot.

"Chill pill, man. She used to be fun."

As Logan took a step toward Veronica, I stepped between them and slammed my hand into his chest. "You've got a warped idea of 'fun' … Opie."

"You should really take your hand off me, Paco."

"No. You should step away before I …"

Veronica cut me off before I could finish threatening Echolls. "Enough. All of you." She tapped on my back to get my attention. "I got this," she said to me as I stepped to her side. Then, she started in on Duncan and Logan. "You're gonna listen to me and then you're gonna walk away. The video? It's being investigated. I know where the email originated and which students forwarded it. I will find out who raped me. I'm weighing my legal options with regards to anyone involved with the crime itself … and the recording, editing, and distribution of the video … as well as the subsequent bullying. Anyone who thought I would just 'lay back and take it' was mistaken. Gravely, woefully mistaken. They've greatly underestimated me. But those of you with a brain won't make that mistake again."

Echolls had the nerve to ask Veronica, "How did we end up as the bad guys?"

"That's a good question. Let me know if your mirror gives you an answer."

Man, I loved watching her trade verbal jabs with these losers.

Duncan was trying to play peacemaker, but he clearly had an agenda. "Veronica, I can see you're upset, but I'd still like to talk to you sometime …" He glanced at me before saying to her, "and I'm not comfortable leaving you with him."

"Him … I can handle. You two ... need to leave."

The girl had serious spunk.

After they walked away, I asked, "You wanna tell me what that was about?"

"Duncan says he has info about the night of Shelly's party."

"You trust him?"

"About that? Yes."

"Then, talk to him. Somewhere you feel safe."

"I guess I could ask him to come to my apartment, but we'd have to talk outside … since Dad is home."

Nodding as I said, "Call me and tell me what you find out."

**~*~**

After dinner, Chardo and I were playing video games. I couldn't focus on the game and I was losing. He was getting on me about how bad I was playing. As long as he didn't guess why I was distracted, I didn't care.

When my phone rang, I handed off my controller to the nearest pair of hands.

Hurrying to my room, I shut the door as I opened my phone. "Did you talk to Duncan?"

"Yeah. He came by before dinner."

"Can you talk? Is your dad around?"

"He's out doing surveillance. So yeah, I can talk about it."

When she didn't continue right away, I said, "Anytime you're ready."

As she talked, the story came out a couple sentences at a time. Then, she would pause before telling me the next part. I didn't interrupt her. I just let her tell me at her own pace.

Duncan had seen her come into the party after it was in full swing. Not long after she got there, he saw her with a drink in her hand. Then, he remembers her flirting with several guys, which he didn't seem too happy about. But since they were broken up, it wasn't really his business. He avoided being near her for a while. When he saw her passed out on a lounge chair, he asked someone if she was okay. They told him that a couple guys had been feeding her shots. After hearing that news, he decided that – ex-boyfriend or not – he should rescue her from being used for body shots.

The next part was hard to hear. It couldn't have been easy for her to tell me. Thankfully, she didn't make me press her for the info. Glad we had the 'no walls' talk.

"Duncan took me into a guest room. He said … to try to get me conscious enough to get me home. By that point, he was out of it too." She paused for a few seconds. "I guess our feelings and nature took over …" She seemed to be having trouble finding the words. "Having drunken sex with your ex at a party … guess he just figured it was better … to pretend it didn't happen. But when he saw the video, he realized that I had been in worse condition than he remembered." Again, she made me wait for her next thought. "He said he's sure he's the first guy in the video – he recognized the shirt he wore that night … but he swears he didn't know we were being recorded." Her throat tightened at the end of that sentence. She swallowed and cleared her throat before beginning again. "He doesn't know who the other guy is or who made the video. And he says he hasn't talked to anyone else about it."

After a long silence, I finally spoke, asking gently, "You believe him?"

"Yeah. I do. But there are some things I don't understand … like if he intended to sober me up and make sure I got home, why did he leave me in the guest room?"

"What did he say when you asked him?"

"I didn't. Didn't think of it until after he left. It was a lot to process."

"Yeah." I waited for her to continue.

"He also remembered someone talking about having GHB at the party. He didn't know if it got put in my drink, but that would account for my lack of memory. And Dick had been bragging about getting his little brother laid that night. Duncan asked around and confirmed that someone saw Dick, Sean, and Beaver going into one of the bedrooms. He offered to try to find out more."

"So, you'll be talking to him again?"

"I guess so."

"Well, if he can't get you what you need, just say the word and I'll get 'em to talk. Or at least make sure they get some quality time with the flag pole."

She didn't say anything for a long time.

"Veronica? You okay?"

"Okay? Yeah. I'm okay, but I was better before coming back to Neptune … when …" Her voice trailed off.

"When what?"

"When it was just us … without all this other stuff."

That made me smile. It made me so happy to hear her say that.

"I wish you were holding me right now," she whispered.

The words fell out of my mouth, "Do you want me to come over?"

She laughed. "Of course, I do. But that's not a good idea."

I knew she was right, but I think I needed to hold her right now as much as she needed me to. "Meet me somewhere?"

"Are you kidding?"

"No, it's not that late."

"Well, yeah, but I'm already in bed."

I swallowed as images of her in my bed popped into my head. "You've been in bed this whole time … while we've been talking?"

"Yeah. I put your tshirt on and climbed under the covers before I called you. Closest thing to having you here holding me."

I had no idea what her room looked like, but I could clearly picture her in my shirt. "You took it with you?"

"Yeah. Did I forget to tell you that?"

"You forgot to ask."

She giggled. "Eli, is it okay if I keep your tshirt to sleep in?"

I'm not sure if it was the thought of her in bed wearing my shirt, the sound of her giggling in my ear, or simply hearing her say my name, but I was under her spell. Resistance was futile. But I wasn't gonna let her know that. So, I negotiated. "Yeah … if you'll meet me tomorrow morning."

"Where would we meet?"

"Don't worry about that. Get to school early. I'll find an empty room. Text me when you get there. I'll tell you where I am." I waited for her reply. "Veronica?"

"Yeah. Okay. See you in the morning."

"Sweet dreams."

"You too, Eli."

If I was able to fall asleep, I had no doubt my dreams would be sweet. But more likely, I'd be awake for a while, fantasizing about her. Either way, I couldn't wait to have her in my arms again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of Logan and Duncan's dialogue is pulled from #1.1 (from "Hey, Ronnie." thru "She used to be fun.")


	8. Chapter 8

The concession stand and the adjoining supply closet were only used during sporting events. That made it a fairly safe place to meet. About ten minutes after I got to school, she texted me. A few minutes after that, she was in my arms.

I lifted her up on the counter and stepped between her knees. Running my hands up her thighs toward her hips, I gave her a quick kiss before taking a good look at her. I could tell that she didn't sleep very well. She admitted to waking up a few times and crying herself to sleep. I knew I couldn't have done anything about it, but that didn't make me feel any better. I wanted to make all her pain go away.

We talked for a while. Well, she talked while I enjoyed being close enough to touch her. She complained a little about some assignments – a lab report and a research paper. Since we'd gone to school together for years, I knew she got good grades. Guess I assumed she liked school more than the average student. It seemed strange to hear her complain about homework almost like I would.

Everything about her fascinated me. Her voice, her eyes. The softness of her skin, the smell of her hair. The way her mind worked. Everything.

She stopped in the middle of a thought when she realized I was staring. "What?"

I didn't want to answer that. "Listening to you talk about all the shit you have to do for school … I was just thinking that I could help relieve some of the stress you seem to be experiencing."

"How exactly do you propose to relieve my stress?"

Pressing myself up against her, I kissed her until she melted into me. When I leaned back to look at her, she was wearing a smile that made my heart pound.

After opening briefly, her eyes fluttered closed again. "Mmmm. Best stress reliever. Ever."

"Happy to be of service. Anytime."

"I'll keep that in mind."

**~*~**

Right before first period, I saw one of the office aides walk up to her and give her a note. Then, she headed for the office. I assumed she went to meet with Miss James.

During lunch, she called me to tell me that Miss James convinced Moorehead and Clemmons to do an assembly this afternoon about bullying, though not Veronica's situation specifically. Miss James gave her the option of not attending, but Veronica asked if she could listen from the backstage area of the auditorium. Mac would be with her. She wanted to warn me about it and to ask me to stay calm no matter what happened.

At first, the teachers who spoke covered the topic from the 'zero tolerance' perspective. Then, they hit a variety of angles to get to as many students as possible:

'It could be you next time – think about that before you participate in or allow bullying.'

'If something ends up in your permanent record, it will be seen by college admissions – and they tend to frown on this type of behavior.'

And in the more extreme cases that attract media coverage … 'think about how your parents would react to this kind of attention from the tabloids.'

I'm sure that any student with a conscience walked away from the assembly deciding to treat their classmates with more respect. But it was the students without a conscience that were the real problem. And they probably weren't affected by the words of the administrators and other staff who spoke.

**~*~**

When school let out, I sat on my bike and watched from across the lot as she walked to her car. The boys noticed where my eyes were focused.

Felix asked just loud enough for the others to hear, if they wanted to. "So, that was about Blondie, right?" When I gave him a quick glance, but no answer, he added, "The lecture on bullying?"

Keeping an eye on Veronica's car as she pulled out of her parking spot, I nodded my reply to Felix.

"Do you know who's behind the video?"

"One or more 09ers. That's all she knows at this point."

"Need anything from us? Or …?"

I cut Felix off. "Nothing specific. Yet. But if you see someone messing with her when I'm not around, step in." A few of them looked giddy at the thought of pounding on the rich idiots who shared our school. "I'm not saying start a rumble in the hallway. Just make it clear that we're watching."

It was Chardo who questioned my reason for getting involved and for asking them to involve themselves.

Trying to ignore the fact the he was openly challenging me, I explained, "For me, a good deed. For you, an excuse to get in an 09er's face. Do you need more than that?" My tone told them that they didn't need anything beyond a directive from their leader.

**~*~*~**

Her dad was at home this weekend, so she couldn't get away for long, but her car needed an oil change. That gave us an opportunity to hang out again in the private garage at Angel's shop on Saturday.

I worked as quickly as possible. Then, we spent the rest of the time sitting on the couch. We talked a little about the backlash after the assembly. Mostly, she wanted to be held. I liked being her safe place. Even though I knew she could stand up for herself, I was glad she could let down her walls with me.

She got a text from her dad telling her when he'd be home for dinner. She needed to leave in a few minutes. Much too soon.

Just before getting in her car, she gave me a kiss. When she ended the kiss, I pulled her back in for another. It was getting harder to say goodbye.

**~*~*~**

The next week, we got very little face-to-face time. Mostly texting and phone calls, but occasionally talking at school – at her locker, lunch table, in the parking lot.

I made my presence known to the fools who might still think they could get away with harassing Veronica. Other than a few of them who still didn't get it, I had been able to put a bubble of protection around her. Some students were still saying things about her. The video was still out there. I couldn't do anything about that. But I could keep the fucktards away and prevent her from crying every day. When I succeeded at that, my reward was seeing her smile rather than tears.

On Thursday, her dad was away for the day. I dropped by their office after school. She showed me the folders she had set up on her laptop for the two cases she was working on. One folder for the video and rape. Another folder for Lilly's murder. Obviously, the original files from the murder investigation would be helpful. She wondered if her dad had any of that stuff or if it was all at the Sheriff's Department. When she worked out a plan to get her hands on them, I figured she'd be asking for my help. At least, I hoped she would.

**~*~*~**

The next day was Friday the 13th of February. We hardly saw each other during the day. In the parking lot at the end of the day, I caught her looking over at me just as my phone buzzed.

_Can we talk?_

I typed:  _Now?_

_No. Not here._

_I work til 9._

Her reply:  _I'll drop by._

**~*~**

For the first hour I was at work, I was on autopilot. Spark plugs, belts, battery. Things I can do in my sleep. Good thing, 'cause I was completely distracted. Trying to figure out what she wanted to talk to me about.

I overheard one of the guys talking about special plans with his girlfriend … for Valentine's Day. Tomorrow.

Is that why she wanted to talk? We weren't exactly dating. We'd kissed, though not nearly as often as I would like. Honestly, other than being a shoulder to cry on, holding her after bad dreams, and making sure nobody messed with her or her car … I wasn't sure what I was to her.

When she pulled onto the lot, I walked over to her car.

"Do you wanna go back …"

"Here's fine, as long as nobody can hear us."

"No. What's up?"

"I want to take you up on your offer."

I wasn't sure what she meant. I'd offered to beat people up, tape them to the pole, get information from them by any means necessary. I'd offered to help her in a thousand different ways. "Which offer would that be?"

"The morning we found out about the video …"

"Oh, that offer." Although I had thought a lot about that offer – like every time I was with her – I assumed that she had either forgotten or that she was not interested. Could have knocked me over with a feather.

"Eli?"

"Sorry. Got distracted."

"I talked to Mac today. She said she'd cover for me. I'll tell my dad that I'm sleeping over at her house. I was thinking we could go to your apartment … tomorrow night."

"You've given this some thought, haven't you?"

"Yeah."

"And you're sure?"

She nodded slowly as a smile spread across her lips – the sweetest smile I'd ever seen on her.

"I'll call you after work," I said as I opened her car door.

"So that's a yes?" Veronica asked, climbing behind the wheel.

I turned my body to block the view of anyone who might be watching us. I leaned down and kissed the back of her hand. "My answer was always 'yes.' I've been waiting for your response to my offer."

As she drove off, every feeling I'd been trying keep under control exploded inside me. There were also nagging questions about what this meant to her.

After she left, I was back on autopilot, mostly unaware of what was going on around me. Most of my attention was on the thoughts that Veronica's visit put in motion. I was vaguely aware of the sound coming from the speakers. One of the older guys had chosen the station, which was currently playing a block of music from the 80s. I recognized most of the songs – the ones that were overused in movies and overplayed on the radio. But one song stuck out because I was pretty sure I'd never heard it before. One verse hit me hard:

_Now that you've got me speechless_   
_So much I wanna say_   
_I can kiss my cool goodbye_   
_Every time you look at me that way_   
_I'd get down on my knees to make you understand_   
_That you're the girl who holds the heart inside this man_

**~*~**

When I took a quick dinner break, I checked my messages. She had left a rambling voicemail: her dad had a lead on a bail jumper, he'd be leaving late tonight and be gone a couple days.

I couldn't speed dial fast enough. Before she even said hello, I asked, "So what's the plan for Backup?"

"Mac offered to stay at my place. She'll tell her parents I invited her to sleep over … which I did."

"She doesn't mind?"

"Apparently, she and her family have different ideas of what constitutes fun. She's got a book she's been wanting to read. She thinks a quiet apartment sounds like heaven."

"Does she know …"

"Not exactly. I told her about the drive-in, that your aunt lives near it, and that I need to get away for a couple days. She said she can come over early tomorrow. She'll need to be home by noon on Sunday, but Backup will be okay by himself til I get back."

"I'll pick you up in the morning. Pack what you need in a backpack. We're taking my bike."

As soon as I got off the phone, I told Angel that I couldn't work this weekend because I was going to Celia's. He assumed that I'd been on the phone with her, that she needed me to do something. I just didn't correct him.

**~*~**

After I got home, I made a quick call to Felix to let him know I'd be away for the weekend. And although I'd have my phone with me, I did not want to be disturbed.

He responded, "Do I even need to ask?" When I did not answer his question, he said, "Say hi to Blondie for me."

"Do we have a problem?"

"No problem. Not with me. We're good."

"Good."

"I assume you want this kept quiet."

"You'd be right."

After I finished talking to Felix, I set my alarm and climbed into bed. In the dark, I began to formulate a plan. I had promised to give her an experience that would heal the pain. Now, I had to deliver on that promise. Making every bad memory fade away, satisfying her every desire, filling any request she made, … even fulfilling any fantasy she was willing to share with me – that's what this weekend was about.

As I was falling asleep, I let my mind wander. Memories of the past month floated through my mind. Those mental snapshots began to morph as I allowed myself to imagine spending the weekend with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics: verse 2 of "Yeah Yeah Yeah" Judson Spence (1988)


	9. Chapter 9

By 9 o'clock Saturday morning, I was up and showered. I gave Celia a call to tell her I'd be there in a couple hours and planned on staying overnight. She still wanted to meet Veronica, so I got myself talked into having lunch together.

Then, I texted Veronica to let her know I was on my way. And I texted again when I arrived at her apartment building. I didn't have to wait long for her to come down to meet me.

Watching her as she walked toward me, I saw a smile form on her lips. That particular smile told me that she was happy to see me, but was also a bit nervous. Unsure what to say under the circumstances, I silently handed her a helmet and we got on the road.

**~*~**

Traffic wasn't bad and we got there just before 11 a.m. Celia must have heard us pull into the driveway, because she called to me from the back door, saying that she needed me to run to the store for her.

"Gimme a few minutes and I'll come get your list," I called back to her.

Veronica and I walked up to the apartment. She hung her jacket on one of the hooks and dropped her backpack in the bedroom.

I slowly backed her up against a wall. "Look me in the eye." I held her gaze long enough to be sure I had her attention. "If you change your mind … at any point … and I mean that … all you have to do is say so. Total honesty."

She nodded and said, "No walls."

As I gave her a slow, tender kiss, she melted into my arms, surrendering all control to me. It took all my willpower to step away from her, reminding myself that groceries and lunch were the next things on the schedule.

We walked over to the house. After quick introductions, Celia gave me her list, some cash, and the keys to her car. Judging by the items she had written down, she was planning on firing up the grill: steak, potatoes, vegetables. There were other things on the list. I added breakfast food for the two of us to have tomorrow.

**~*~**

When we got back, I took our food up to the apartment, while Veronica took everything else into the house. When I returned, Celia met me at the door with the steaks – and hot dogs for the kids – and sent me out to the grill. She told the boys to play in the yard without bothering me. Then, she went into the kitchen with Veronica to finish chopping vegetables … and to talk. I could see them through the window.

A few minutes later, Veronica came out with foil pouches filled with red potatoes and assorted veggies.

"Everything alright?" I felt like I should ask, because I knew how nosy my aunt could be.

"Fine. She came right and asked if we were dating or just sleeping together."

I nearly choked. "What did you say?"

"That we went to the movies one time and we've kissed a few times."

She turned and went back inside like this whole weekend was the most natural thing in the world. Lying to her dad, Mac covering for her, having lunch with my aunt and cousins … before we go up to the apartment and get naked. The girl continued to surprise me.

Lunch was delicious, if I do say so myself. I hadn't had steak in a while. Celia said she was celebrating a bonus at work. She wanted steak but hates to use the grill. She figured she could spring for two more, since she knew I'd be willing to do the cooking.

We sat and talked for quite a while. Celia told family stories, including a few embarrassing ones from my childhood. I didn't mind, though. Celia had Veronica laughing more than I'd ever seen her laugh. I knew she needed it and I enjoyed watching simple joy light up her face.

Celia gave the boys popsicles to eat on the patio while we cleaned up. I expected her to ask if we had any special plans, but she didn't. Maybe, she already asked Veronica. Maybe, she was being polite.

**~*~**

It was after 3 pm when we went up to the apartment. I had a plan for the rest of the day, but I also had a few options in case I needed to change tactics at some point. As I was running through my mental list, she walked toward my fridge, asking if I wanted a beer. When I asked why, she said it would help us relax.

I put my arms loosely around her waist as I told her that I was already relaxed and I wanted her completely sober for this.

She had been fairly relaxed against my back during the ride here. She had been even more relaxed during lunch, laughing at Celia's storytelling and watching the boys playing. But at some point, when we were cleaning up, she began to tense up. By the time we were walking up to the apartment, her muscles were locked down and her thoughts were running wild. I wanted her muscles tension-free and her mind thought-free.

"Veronica, are you nervous about me touching you?" She didn't answer, but she did look me in the eye. "Or are you nervous because you want me to touch you?" The look in her eyes told me that she wasn't sure – and it's possible the real answer was yes to both.

After turning the deadbolt on the door, I walked over to sit on the couch and pointed at the floor between my feet. "Have a seat. I'll give you a backrub."

"You any good at backrubs?"

"I've been told I'm alright."

She sat down. As I started to rub her shoulders, she said, "You know this is a sure thing, right? You don't have to try to seduce me."

I chuckled at that. "Not seduction. Foreplay. The next several hours are all about your pleasure."

"Hours?"

Leaning forward, I whispered in her ear, "Yes."

Slowly, she let go of whatever had her in knots. Every so often, she let out an 'mmm' or a satisfied sigh. I liked what I was hearing and began looking forward to hearing what other sounds she would make.

After giving her shoulders plenty of attention, I brought her into my lap. Actually, she was sitting next to me with her legs across my lap. She leaned into my chest as I wrapped my arms around her waist. For several minutes, we sat there, still and quiet. I was waiting for her to show me what she needed next.

She shifted so that she was straddling me. She wasn't quite as shy as I thought she'd be.

My right hand, which had been resting on the couch, settled on her leg. My left hand moved to her neck and my thumb rested on her jaw as I gave her a kiss. After taking our time with that kiss, I studied her eyes as I slid my fingers under the collar of her shirt and then down to rub the area just below her collar bone. I waited to see if she would tense up.

When she didn't, I played with the top button on her shirt and asked, "Okay if I remove this?"

"Mm-hmm."

She watched my face as I undid all the buttons. When I slid the shirt over her shoulders and down her arms, she shivered.

Trying to warm her up, I stroked the skin on her arms, shoulders, sides. My hands landed firmly on her back.

Pulling her toward me, I placed a few kisses on her neck and said softly into her ear, "You're beautiful."

She playfully tugged at the bottom of my shirt. "And you're overdressed."

After I pulled the shirt off over my head, she placed her hands on my chest and leaned her forehead into mine. I took a mental snapshot of the moment and how it felt to be with her like this. Definitely, something I wanted to remember.

Many kisses and shirtless caresses later, she began grinding against me. Her jeans against mine were providing the expected amount of friction. Her moaning told me that she was already plenty aroused. But until she was ready to tell me that she wanted more, we were staying right here.

After a little while, she was breathless and looking at me with hungry eyes. But she remained silent.

"Tell me what you want. Baby, I'll give you  _anything_  you want. But you have to tell me what that is."

She closed her eyes briefly before saying, "We are gonna have sex at some point, right?"

I laughed and kissed her nose. "If by sex, you mean 'intercourse' … then, yes … we can do that … later."

"How much later?"

"There are a few other things on my 'to do list' before we get there." I looked at her adorably frustrated face. "You wanna move to the bed and find out what's next?"

She bit her lip as she nodded.


	10. Chapter 10

With her still straddling me, I stood up. She slid down the front of my body until she was standing. I let go of her long enough to lean down and pick up our shirts. Then, I took her hand and led her to the bedroom.

Standing next to the bed, I traced down her bra straps and the lace edge of the cups to the front hook. Her eyes were telling me she wasn't ready for that. Instead, one of my fingertips drew a line down the center of her abs until I hit the top of her jeans.

As I traced back and forth along the waistband, I asked, "Okay if I take these off?"

"Mm-hmm."

I watched her face for any evidence of uncertainty as I unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans. While sliding them down over her hips, I slowly went down on my knees. I kissed her bellybutton as I pulled the denim down her legs. When her jeans were around her ankles, she placed her hands on my shoulders and stepped out of them. She was wearing matching bra and panties – black with touches of blue that made her eye color stand out.

Staying there on my knees looking up at her, I said the first thing that came into my head. "You are absolutely gorgeous."

Blushing as she shook her head, she said, "You're overdressed again."

"And I'm gonna stay that way for a while." After I stood up, I stroked her abdomen with my knuckles and gently nudged her backward toward the bed. "Why don't you lie down."

"On my back? Or …"

"Depends. Do you want another backrub?" I was intentionally giving her opportunities to control the pace.

After considering her options, she turned around and crawled across the comforter, giving me a great view of her ass. I was determined to take this slow, but she was not making it easy to stick to my plan. She looked back over her shoulder at me just before lying down on her belly.

Backrub it is.

At times, my touch was firm. At others, light. My hands and my mouth explored every inch of her back and limbs. When I was finished with that task, I stretched out next to her, lazily drawing on her back. She turned her face to me. Then, she rolled onto her side and inched toward me.

More moaning kisses, more exploring hands. Definitely time for the next phase.

I rolled her onto her back and kissed my way down the front of her torso. When I reached her panties, I wasn't surprised that they were wet. Blowing lightly on her, her whole body quivered. I kissed my way back up to her bra. I didn't have to ask this time – she nodded before I could get the words out.

Taking in her beauty, I was amazed by the trust that she placed in me – from her, that was a gift. I had made her an offer, but now she offered herself to me.

Although it took more control than I thought I had, I was taking my time. My fingertips traced the edge of her panties. As she squirmed, her back arched and she opened to me. My desire for her continued to build as I kissed the soft skin along the lace. When I placed a kiss on the damp spot, she let out a frustrated groan.

"Veronica, I told you already … tell me what you want."

"Please …"

"Please what?"

"Please … more," she panted.

"You're going to have to be more specific."

She groaned. "You're driving me crazy."

With a wicked laugh, I said, "Good. That's been my plan all along."

"Ugh!"

"Just say it. Tell me."

But she didn't say it. She started to slide her underwear over her hips and down her legs. I had to smile at that. She knew what she wanted, even if she couldn't say it out loud.

"Okay," I said with a smile. "Now what would you like me to do?"

"I don't know. Just … more."

I moved up to kiss her lips. She wrapped her arms around me, pulling my chest to hers. Supporting my weight with one arm, I used the other hand to stroke her thigh. Finally arriving where she had practically begged me to put my attention, I entered her with one finger, then two. After kissing my way back down her torso, I went to work with my tongue and lips.

Her hands found their way to my head, massaging my scalp. At that moment, I knew I would gladly stay right here for as long as she'd let me. No place else I'd rather be – her soft hands on my head, those sounds coming from her mouth, the joy I felt seeing her lose control. Having this sweet girl beg for more was like heaven. And I had barely gotten started.

I was watching her carefully and all the signs told me she was close. Even when I felt the spasms around my fingers, I did not let up. I continued gently, letting her ride out the waves of pleasure.

After a couple minutes, her breathing had steadied. She swallowed hard, opened her eyes, and said, "What the hell was that?"

"That, baby girl, was your first orgasm."

A smile spread across her face as she giggled.

"Mission accomplished."

She looked at me and asked, "What?"

"My goal was for you to experience sexual pleasure. Mission accomplished."

"Wait … I thought we were gonna …"

"We still can. And I'd really like to. But we don't have to. That was never the point. That's why I left my jeans on."

"Okay … so hypothetically, if we didn't just … dive in … what would be next on the list?"

"A shower."

"Together?"

"I want you to be completely comfortable with me. Considering we'd only kissed a few times before today, I'm trying to give you plenty of time to be sure what you really want out of this weekend." I stood next to the bed and reached out to her.

"Well, you're gonna have to get naked before you get in the shower." She rolled onto her stomach and rested her chin on her hands as she looked up at me. "I'm waiting."

She continued to surprise me. She was not the girl that Lilly described, not the girl I thought I knew from watching her at school.

I slowly removed my jeans, but left my boxers on for now. Then, I took her hand and brought her to me – inching toward me on her knees in much the same way I did the last time we were here, except that both of us had been wearing more clothing.

It felt so right to have her in my arms, to have her skin against mine, to have my lips on hers.

After leading her into the bathroom, I made sure that there were towels on the rack. Then, I got the water started. I asked her if she wanted her own shampoo and she went to get it from her backpack. I got a clean tshirt and boxers from the dresser in the bedroom.

By the time we stepped into the shower, the water was the perfect temperature and the bathroom was steaming up. I washed her hair and we took turns washing each other's bodies.

We fit together perfectly and the soap allowed our hands to explore with slippery ease. An image popped into my mind: taking her against the wall of the shower. But that was not part of my plan – not this weekend anyway.

The water was beginning to cool. After a brief kiss, I got out first, dried off quickly, and put on the boxers. When she turned the water off and stepped out, I wrapped her in a fluffy towel and dried her off slowly. I stood behind her and combed her hair as we looked at each other in the mirror.

She leaned back against me. "You're overdressed again."

I handed her the tshirt I had gotten from the drawer. "Not if you put this on."

We went out to the kitchen to get some water and a snack, since it was actually dinner time. After we ate, I picked her up and carried her back to the bedroom. I pulled back the comforter and sheets so we could get in under them. Pulling her to my chest and covering up, it felt totally natural to be here with her. We'd been in this bed together already, but this was definitely different.

Reaching down to the floor, I got my phone out of the pocket of my jeans. "I'm gonna set an alarm for a few hours from now. When we wake up, we can decide what we want to do."

At least thirty minutes later, we were both still awake. I asked, "What's going through that head of yours?"

"Just … that I like being here with you. Thank you … for making me feel safe, Eli." She nuzzled against the side of my neck and placed a kiss on my jaw before putting her head back on my chest.

It took me a moment to find words to reply. "I'm glad to hear you say that." There was more – so much more – I wanted to tell her. Jumbled thoughts and feelings that I couldn't quite put into words. Not yet. Instead, I just held her.


	11. Chapter 11

The alarm startled both of us out of our sleep, which would normally have been unpleasant. But then she said this: "I think that's the first time I've slept without having a nightmare since the last nap we took here."

"I wish I could be there to hold you every time you fall asleep."

"Me, too."

Kissing her as I brushed the hair away from her eyes, I asked, "So, what would you like to do now? Are you hungry? We could eat."

She shook her head 'no.'

"Or if you're still tired, we can go back to sleep."

She shook her head again. Her face was blank, but there was a hint of something in her eyes.

"Or I could continue finding ways to make you moan."

Her eyes lit up and a smile spread across her lips as she nodded. "Yes, please."

That was music to my ears.

We spent about half an hour making out under the covers before she hit that frustrated point again. It was almost funny to watch the little pout on her face as she whimpered and groaned. But that was right where I wanted her. I was not going to rush this.

"Don't pout, baby girl. Just tell me what you want."

She took one of my hands and moved it to where she wanted it. She started making much happier sounds with my hand between her legs.

I couldn't remember ever enjoying foreplay this much. Watching her carefully, her body gave me clear signs of what brought her pleasure, what caused her frustration (good and bad), and what made her arousal slow down. Wouldn't mind making a full-time job of studying her.

To take advantage of her squirming, I rolled her onto her side and pulled her back to my chest. Now, when she arched her back, she was pressing her ass into me. The way she ground against me, there's no way she didn't notice how hard I was. In fact, it seemed to get her hotter.

Everything about her – movement and sound – was telling me that she was getting close. I changed the amount of pressure I was using and waited for her to react.

She let out a frustrated groan. "Why did … please … I need …" Looking over her shoulder at me, she almost glared when I smiled at her.

"Why did I stop what I was doing?"

She nodded.

"Delayed gratification. Now, finish telling me what you need."

With my fingers inside her, she squeezed her thighs together. "I need … you … inside me."

Hearing those words come from her mouth was fucking amazing. And I loved that she was starting to ask for what she wanted and needed.

Removing my hand, I rolled her onto her back and moved on top of her, pressing against her. "Good. Because that's what I need, too."

I rolled off of her to reach into the night stand. Then, I took her hand to help her off the bed.

"What are …" she started to ask. After we walked through the bedroom door, she asked, "Where are we going?"

Pulling a chair out away from the kitchen table, I sat down, still wearing my boxers. Taking her hands, I brought her into my lap so that she was straddling my legs, her feet touching the floor on either side of the chair.

After putting the lubricant and condom on the table, I explained, "I'm gonna let you control the pace and amount of pressure."

She was about to ask questions when my fingers entered her folds again. Immediately, she went nonverbal.

Unlike her earlier orgasm, I didn't do anything to extend the length of this one. I reached for the packet on the table. Sliding my boxers out of the way, I rolled the condom on. She watched as I put lubricant on myself. When I reached to put the excess on her, her eyes fell closed as she began to moan and roll her hips.

Continuing to stroke her, I said, "Now lift yourself up. Put your hands on my shoulders. Lower yourself down … at your pace."

She took her time. When she finally settled down onto my lap, I said, "Now just stay right there a minute." I helped her remove the tshirt and then wrapped my arms around her back. As we kissed, I began to slowly move beneath her. When she moaned into my mouth, I ended the kiss. "You like that? Why don't you take over?"

With a tight grip on her hips, I held her against me as she moved in circles. I was trying to focus on not coming before she got her next orgasm. Her movements made that a challenge. I could tell she was enjoying herself, but I noticed she was scrunching her eyebrows together.

"Veronica?"

"I think … I need … your hand …"

Even after I had reached between our bodies to relieve her frustration, there was still a hint of it on her face.

Pulling her head toward mine and pressing my forehead to hers, I whispered, "Tell me."

"Your hand ... the angle ... it ... felt better ... when we ... in bed … and you were ..." As she spoke, she continued moving her hips.

"When I was behind you?"

She nodded.

Her skin was glistening and she was breathing hard. She looked so beautiful and I liked being able to watch her face, but it would be difficult for me to give her what she was asking for like this.

After hearing what she had said, what I really wanted to do was bend her over the kitchen table. Watching her ass as she crawled across the bed earlier, it was easy to imagine the view. Just the thought of pressing her into the table, thrusting into her hard and fast ... it was enough to make me twitch inside her.

But I promised myself I'd be gentle with her this weekend. So, what I said was: "Then, turn around." Seeing the confusion on her face, I explained, "Stand up, turn around, and sit back down. Then I can reach around like before."

She nodded that she understood. I could see the decision going through her head before she finally stood up and changed positions.

With a hand on one of her breasts and my other hand between her legs, I sprinkled kisses on her upper back as she gave me a lap dance I'd never forget. Her senses seemed to be on overload. As she leaned forward, her hands gripped my thighs. She tried to say something, but all I heard were moans and mumbled words. In between some oo's and ah's, only a few words were clear: yes, right there, and more.

It wasn't long before she screamed my name, which sent me over the edge. I wrapped one arm tightly around her, pulled her back against me, and pressed my lips to her neck. With one hand on her hip bone, I held her in place as I pushed a little farther into her. Moving my mouth away from her ear, my head tipped back as I growled loudly.

A shudder ran through my body and it took a moment for my head to clear. I turned her around so I could kiss her. Her eyes were glazed and she didn't seem like she could think, let alone talk. But her face, her eyes, her touch told me that we had both felt the same thing. The silence between us was not awkward at all.

We walked to the bathroom to clean up and throw away the condom. She stood behind me, pressing herself into my back like she did on my bike. I got a washcloth from the shelf and ran warm water over it. I turned around to kiss her as I reached between her legs to wipe her clean. Then, I folded the washcloth and held it in place to soothe her tender skin.

Both of us were spent when we climbed back into bed. She curled into my side and put her head on my chest.

Her voice was low as she said, "Goodnight, Eli."

Oh, how I loved to hear her say my name. Better still, when she said it as she was moaning and panting, begging me for more.

I reminded myself that she might want this to be a one-night thing. I might not get to hear her make those sounds again.

As I held her close, I placed a kiss on top of her head. "Sweet dreams, Veronica."


	12. Chapter 12

In the haze between sleeping and waking, I felt her get up out of bed. I expected her to return after using the bathroom, but she didn't. Pulling on boxers before I went to look for her, I found her in the living room. She was wearing my tshirt, sitting on the couch – her body turned and leaning over the back of the couch, looking out the window.

She didn't seem to hear me walking toward her, but she didn't flinch when I sat down on the cushion next to her, leaning my chest into her back.

"Good morning," I whispered.

Although she didn't reply, she did settle back into my chest and welcomed my arms around her. Still, her quietness concerned me. I turned her body so I could look at her face.

"Wow." I always thought the phrase 'takes my breath away' was an exaggeration, but right now it was completely accurate.

"What?" she asked.

"You're glowing."

She rolled her eyes and nervously tucked her hair behind her ear. "I'd say 'thank you' but if that's true, then it's more a compliment to your … abilities … than my appearance."

"What happened, we did together. You told me what you needed and I listened." I let that sink in. Placing a kiss on her nose, I added, "Communication and trust."

"No walls."

I nodded slowly. "Ready for breakfast?"

She shook her head.

"Really? After all that, you're not hungry?"

Her eyes lit up, and a smile crept across her face. "I'd rather eat after."

"After what?"

She stood up and reached for my hand. "I want to go back to bed for a while. And this time, I want to see your face when …"

It cracked me up that she could be bold enough to invite me back to bed, but she couldn't say certain words out loud. "You mean, when I come?"

Nodding shyly, she tugged on my arm. I went willingly. She was completely irresistible. Absolutely no way I could turn down her request.

Now back in the bed, gentle kisses gave way to urgent groping. Breathlessly, she asked me to tell her if there was anything I wanted.

"You've already given me more than I would have asked for."

"Stop that. You made me tell you. Now, tell me … what do you want?"

Too many thoughts and images went through my head. But honestly, the decision was easy. If there was even a possibility that this was the last time we'd be together like this, then I knew exactly what I wanted.

"I want to taste you again."

"Taste?"

Bringing my hand up the inside of her thigh and finding her wet, I provoked a moan from her. "I want your scent and your taste tattooed into my memory."

She gasped – not sure if it was at my words or my touch. "You don't mind?"

"You're fucking kidding, right? I love watching your reactions … and knowing that I can reduce you to a whimpering puddle of sweetness."

Her eyes went wide. For a second, I thought maybe I offended her – that my honest words had crossed the line to what she'd consider dirty. But she pulled me in for a hungry kiss, then looked me in the eye and said, "Well, in that case … get to work."

When I hesitated, she pushed gently on my shoulders, nudging me in the direction we both wanted.

Not that I had been rushing yesterday – because I hadn't – but I really took my time this morning. For her pleasure and mine.

Another mental snapshot.

I wanted to fill entire scrapbooks of memories with her. I wondered if she'd let me.

As she was basking in the afterglow, I reached over to the nightstand. She was rubbing my back as I sat on the edge of the bed. It took all the concentration I had to finish putting on the condom.

Turning around to face her, I found her on her back, waiting for me. I entered her and began to find the perfect rhythm for both of us. Just before I was about to come, she brought her hands to the sides of my face and it was like she was holding my very soul in her hands. As I came, I looked directly into her eyes, giving her exactly what she had asked for.

Never had I felt so exposed and vulnerable. I had asked her to drop all her walls. Did she realize I had done the same? I'd swear she could look straight inside me. Her eyes seemed to be searching for something. Normally, I would try to run from it. But I didn't run and I didn't hide. I didn't mind at all that I'd been caught.

Kissing her forehead, I said, "I'll be right back."

After throwing the condom in the trash, I returned to the bed. I'd never been a huge fan of cuddling, but damn if this girl didn't have me spooning and nuzzling her neck like it was the most satisfying thing we'd done all weekend.

My hand was spread out on her abdomen holding her against me – like I didn't want her to get away. Because I didn't.

I felt her stomach rumble under my hand. "I think someone's hungry."

She laughed as I rolled her onto her back so I could kiss her belly. Her hands gently massaged my scalp as I looked up at her through my eyelashes. She smiled and shook her head at me.

"What's so funny?"

"Not funny." She was trying to find the right word. "Surprising."

"What does that mean?"

"I'm not sure what I was expecting, but last night … this morning … you … us together … I don't know how to explain it." She shrugged. "Surprising."

I still wanted to know what she meant by that. But I didn't think she was trying to avoid answering. I got the feeling she couldn't put it into words yet. Honestly, I was right there with her. At least, I hoped we were thinking and feeling the same thing.

"Shower before breakfast?" I asked.

She nodded. Damn. There was that glow again. All the shyness seemed to be gone, leaving behind a radiant and confident woman.

**~*~**

We took a long, lazy shower, enjoying each other's bodies for several more minutes. My mind taking snapshots the whole time.

I got out first to go start breakfast. Telling her to take her time, I quickly toweled off and went to find boxers and jeans.

Standing at the stove, I heard her footsteps behind me. "Perfect timing." I turned around with the skillet in my hand.

She stood there in one of my flannel shirts. Damn. It was official. Somewhere along the way, I'd fallen for her.

Misreading my silent stare, she apologized for taking a shirt from my closet.

Shaking my head, I said, "Looks better on you than it does on me."

"I don't know about that," she said with a head tilt.

The plates were already on the table. I just needed enough coordination to put the food on the plates. Somehow, I managed to do that without dropping anything. With the skillet still in one hand, I pulled out a chair for her with my free hand.

She tucked one foot under herself on the chair just like she had at the motel the morning after we went to the drive-in. Taking a bite, she moaned her approval of my cooking. "This is delicious."

"Just scrambled eggs with ham and cheese. Nothing special."

She rolled her eyes at me. "You have completely spoiled me this weekend. Lunch yesterday and now this. Not to mention the hours in between." Putting her fork down and wiping her mouth with a napkin, she said, "Thank you. It doesn't make all the other stuff in my life disappear, but you do seem to have the  _magic_  touch. You have a way of making things seem … not quite so bad." Leaning over, she placed a kiss on my cheek.

After that, we ate in silence. I had gotten another plate full of food and sat back down. I noticed her eyebrows and forehead doing that thing when she's thinking too hard, but didn't ask.

Finally, she said, "So …"

"Veronica, just say it."

"Not sure how to ask this." She looked down at her hands in her lap. "What does this mean now ... for us? Um … we go back to being secret friends? … or are we … ?"

Swallowing the food in my mouth, I looked at my plate as I asked, "What do you want us to be?" When she didn't answer, I looked up at her.

All the nervousness that had dropped away was now back. Her voice was soft as she said, "I'd rather you answer that question first."

Yeah, and I'd like to hear her answer first. But here goes. "I'd rather we not go back to being just friends, but if all you wanted was one night … well, I'll still be there for you if you need anything. Ever." I took her hand and pulled her into my lap. "But I'll be jealous as hell of anyone who ever touches you."

She let out a sigh and put her head on my shoulder. "I can't go back to just friends. I just needed to hear you say it first. I didn't want to be all clingy if this was just sex to you."

"As for the secret part …"

"Oh, yeah. That's fine if you don't want anyone to know."

"Look at me." I waited until she lifted her head. "That's not what I'm saying. I'd be proud to put my arm around you in public and call you my girl. But you should think that through, because it would probably mean another shitstorm for you at school. Then, there's the inevitable interrogation by the Sheriff."

"Why would Lamb care if we're together?"

"Not him. Your dad."

"Right." She laughed nervously.

Although that reminded us that we would be going back to reality soon, neither of us wanted to say it out loud. While she got ready, I cleaned up the kitchen.

Before leaving, we took the extra food and dirty linens over to Celia's house. She didn't say anything, but the way she smiled at me as she said goodbye told me she knew everything.

Veronica's dad texted that he should be home by dinner time. Mac had texted when she left Veronica's apartment. Backup would only be on his own for a couple hours. And Veronica would be back hours before her father.

The ride back to Neptune was bittersweet. So much had changed in the past twenty-four hours. I wished we could just ignore the rest of the world and spend all day every day in that apartment. The closer we got to home, the tighter she held onto me. And when we said goodbye outside her apartment building, the look in her eyes said so many things. It made my heart soar. It made me want to protect her. Mostly, it made me want to find somewhere we could be alone again.

I gave her one hell of a goodbye kiss, but it wasn't nearly enough to show her how I felt.

**~*~*~**

Before I helped Veronica when her tires got slashed, I had been considering getting a new tattoo with Lilly's name. I thought I loved her … or at least, could have loved her.

After last night – really, the past four weeks with Veronica – I'm sure I've never been in love before.

I look at everything around us – the people at school, the town of Neptune – and it seems clear that any attempt at having a relationship … well, anyone would tell you it's got disaster written all over it. I've gotten myself into some rough situations, but I'm never reckless. I take calculated risks. But with this, I feel no need to stop and weigh the cost. No price is too high to be with her.

Bottom line: she makes me happy. And I want to do everything in my power to make her happy – to hear her laugh and see her smile, to hear her say my name in normal conversation or the throes of passion.

We've both been through too much pain. I prefer pleasure.

**THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love." ~ Sophocles
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! Until next time ...
> 
> ~Jen


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